Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Get Fucked Ben Gordon!!

You fuckin bum, what the hell happened?? Bro's not exactly what the diminishing Pistons (23-50) had in mind I suppose. After a fantastic two weeks off the start, it looked like homeboy might repeat the 08'-09' season. Riddled with injury and over all shittiness, he twenty nine point sevened it from behind the arc, which is supposed to be this former englishmens specialty (rasual butler = so hot right now). Gordon's a 2.5/1.9 TO/Ast ratio, and averaging less points than his rook year. This behavior will not be tolerated by the Bear. Either way Detroit is fucked I guess, you couldn't even trade Charlie V for Blatche 2 months ago.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Searching the abyss

With just over 2 weeks left it's going down to the wire for some owners (it's a pun! get it?!?!), so here's a list of some potentially available players who could scratch the itch of owners in the deepest leagues over the final two weeks:

Ronny Turiaf

G-State's own Schwarzenegger stalking nemesis is now in the starting lineup for the baby seal clubber of the fantasy universe, and bear favorite, Don Nelson. As we all know minutes will be erratic, but Gonzaga's french connection is still worth a look if you need a big. Dude is a fly-swatter, and could help out in stls and rebs. You won't find scoring here, but he shouldn't hurt the %s as demonstrated in his last 2 contests where he had zero shot attempts prior to going 5/5 from the field and 3/3 from the line. On a note related to Warriors big men and shooting %, looks like Andy Biedrins will go into the books shooting 16% from the line this year... a higher percentage of humans are born with a tail.

Ryan Anderson

With half man- half a season up to his old tricks and Mickael Pietrus out, "systolic" Stan Van is in need of another shooter, and Anderson is more than willing to oblige. In his last 2 he's gone for 19pts 7rebs along with 3.5tres 1stl and half a blk. Those of us who had him for the start of the season, when Shard was suspended for being the least-jacked athlete to ever get knocked for performance enhancers, know very well this guy can put up some juicy digits when he plays.

Rodrigue Beaubois

Anyone who's seen a small sample size of Roddy this year knows he can ball, and knows he's going to be fun to watch. What you did not know is that on March 27th 2010 the sky would open up and he would bomb 9 of 11 tres on G-State, reducing Oakland to a pile of rubble. Once the terror was over and the dust had settled the line looked like this: 40pts 8rebs 3ass' 9tres 3blks and 1to. Read back that last part, with the Mavs headed for the second season look for Beast-Rod to get some run in order to save the legs (or wings) of the jet, and eternal fantasy milf J-Kidd.

Jordan Hill

In his first game back from a sprained ankle, Jill logged 26min for the pocket rockets. He put up an uninspiring 8 and 6 but the minutes are what's important here. If the rook continues to see around 25 he should be a nice big man add. If he has any pride at all, and if there is a god, Jordan "bobby-cypress" Hill will be stealing playing time from diseased fantasy invalids Chuck Hayes, Jared Jeffries and David Andersen, and be putting up helpful numbers for those desperate bastards still searching the wire and playing for something... curse you.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Where the hell did that come from?? : The Drew Gooden edition

The Clippers have done a A&E style makeover on their bench, yet Rasual (Sulio) Butler remains in the starting 5. Relative no-namer Craig Smith has certainly not been on a tear, but threw down a beefy 25-10-2 while rubbing out 2 steals & 2 blocks, no rhyme nor reason, don't expect this again from Craigy.... ever. Drew Gooden, a recent aquisition for the Clipdogs put down some solid double trouble (17-14) with 50-100 percentiles. Starting minutes could work well with Goody, expect his ownership percentage to increase rapidly if this is a repeat offense.
In the same game, the shortbenched Rockets fought hard, all starters excluding Chuck Hayes (who shouldnt have been there anyways) reached double figures. Ariza flirted with a breathy triple double 18-8-8 (thats alotta 8's foo..) and Aaron Brooks only managed 1 of his 5 three point threats.

While Condo Love had a less than spectacular double double Jermaine O'Neal put in on the offensive work for El Heat last night against the offense-less (seemingly) Bulls. Taj Gibson being the only real sign of life for Chi-Town. Speeking of which, he's fluxuating between nice games all throughout march. Keep an eye on him as a fuckin shit ton of rooks seem to be getting big run in the home stretch (Taj particularly getting 30 min on the reg).

Caron Butler (my only opponent in a head 2 head matchup last evening) destroyed my hopes and dreams with 11-19 from the floor resulting in 25-9-2. Finding his groove with the Mavs? Or still kind of an injury case douche? Readers weigh in next round.

Andre Miller over shadowed Brandon "boy toy" Roy in every respect except playing time, while Camby put up what you want from him, meaty numbers and defense baby. Barea almost killed a kid and Dampier continues to sicken me.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Nice Work Jrue Holiday!

Is this mafucka fo reel? Email research by us bears would indicate that 76.4% of you loyal readers say no. Fortunately for Jube-Jrue, we at the Bear say YES! Considerable PT increases this march have led to sexual eruptions all over the dance floor, ahem.. ball court. Split stats not so impressive thus far (7.5pts, 2.6rebs, 3.2ast), especially considering the vortex of studly rook guards this year, but march numbers paint a different picture. A much sexier picture. 13.5pts, 4.5rebs, 5ast and 1.6 thefts per. Just about doubled his production with the right mpg. This demon even conjured up 15-4-7 with 2 sneak attack steals tonight! Especially with Lou 'Bega' Williams sidelined, Jrue Holiday will continue to run rampant across your respective fantasy night total.

Chris Kaman looks like a young athletic Gary Busey.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

SURPRISE!!! they top 25

One of these things is not like the other... some names that rank in the top 25 that seem out of place.. that don't seem right... names you didn't expect, like an ill-placed bar stool: www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_f2wYtlssY&feature=related


As Papabear mentioned, Channing Frye has been on a matrix-like shooting spree from 23 feet all season long. He's drained more triples than the likes of defense stretching legends Shard Lewis, Heysus Ray, J-rich and Peja (did you know Peja was the 6th member of n sync? http://feetinthepaint.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/peja073.jpg)


I give this one a split between Aaron Brooks and Jamal Crawford. Brooks had shown flashes, got minutes, and has poured in more than D12, Brandon Roy and Los Boozer. Crawford has always been a major scorer, but this season has played from the bench, and it hasn't slowed him down. Crawdaddy-jam still has one of the sickest crosses, and is still ballin out.


Crash, (not the blogger, his cyber methamphetamine) hands down. Not since the glory days of the Matrix Marion and the run and gun suns has a man that far under 7 feet cleaned the glass like a titan. More boards than Al Jeff, (ka) Pau, Amare, and founder of the NRA Chris Kaveman http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0PgZeumSJI


Darren Collison. Ridiculous year for rookie pg's, but don't tell me you saw this one coming, plead the fifth you filthy liar. Starting in place of CP3 for the last couple months, Darren has dropped enough dimes to fund the retirement of every busker you have ever seen in your entire lifetime. That's more than BigShot, Devin Harris and Joe John.


C.J. Watson. To survive Don Nelson's lineups long enough to register any number of meaningful stats (with the exception of Mississippi's pride, and the genetically bred to shoot Curry) is an accomplishment in its own. For a guy like C.J. to have his name ahead of notorious thieves like Caron Butler and Manu "Giggles" Ginobili is impressive, almost impressive as the last youtube link I post this week: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-Vkg25269w


Shane Battier. This karaoke sensation has always been a hella stellar defender, and has snuck into the top 25. This includes a 7 block torture session on superfreak rookie Tyke Evans.

Daily rundowns after the sundown!

In order to prevent the vast majority of readers (approx 62.3 million) from running head first into traffic, we gotta do these damn daily run downs, sorry for the delay ladies and gentlemen (I know... mostly ladies).

What do we have here, lets see....

Johnny Salmons flipped his wig with a dashing 32pts, i'll take a 12-19 from the floor anyday John. Joe Johnson spanked the stat sheet in the same Hawks loss, shelving a tasty 27-6-3 with 13-25 shooting, while the rest of Atlanta didnt really clock anything noteworthy (aside from J-Smooths 4 B's).

Dwighty put up his standard 23-15 (sadly now being something Zach Randolph would scoff at) with 2 blocks against the 'Sweet' Lou Will - Thadd Master - AI - less Sixers. Iggy and Elton "John" Brand had big games (id say its about time EB) but its notable that Brandon Bass had a shittier line than Jason Kapono. I guess the time to kill Bass is now.

Sex Condo Wade flirted with yet another triple trouble line while for some reason Jermaine O'No! had a nice line in the same game (25-9-3). And....I didnt even look at Jersey's box score. Im dedicated, but not THAT dedicated.

Ginobili continues to beast while George Mafucka toughed out 35 min under the big Pop for a nasty 27 points. Don't stare directly at Durantula's line either, you'll go blind.

CHRIS PAUL returned to action against Mark Cuban (solely) if only for 20 min and 11 pts. Its a start my man. Dirk shit the bed (by Dirk standards) with 16pts and as many TO's as anything else, it was up to Jason Terry and his brand new face to keep the Mavs within 20 points in theyre loss. Darren Collison with yet another nice game (16-8-4 + some peripherels), where is his viability headed with CP3 back?

Derrick Rose pulled a D-Wade on Houston (27-7-8) and beat a win out of the Argentenian long hair.
Aside from poor FT% he has been on a tear in the last 2 games.

The Raps squeeked one past the easily beatable Timberwolves, kinda sad watching that game, nothing really fantasy relevent and you get the feeling even Minnesota is embarressed about they're team. But Jarrett Jack's 8 assists launched me up in the standings in a respective league so I was hard the whole time.

Glen 'Baby Face/Fetish' Davis was the 2nd leading scorer for Boston last night in they're 13pt loss to Utah. So lets not even worry about them. Fucking BROOOOOOTAL! Every player in the Jazz's starting lineup aside from Wesley "who the fuck is this?" Matthews had sextacular lines though, with special consideration for Mehmet & Deron.

Memphis ran a train on the Tyreke-less Kings, Zach Randolph putting up 25-12-3. Kinda weird, i've come to expect so much from Zach that im really not impressed nor anywhere close to satisfied unless he does 35-20 anymore. High hopes, modest hopes, but it keeps a man alive. Beno continues to run naked through the forest (back court) with Tyreke out.

Phoenix at Golden State ended up 133-131. Just fucking IMAGINE the crazy ass lines these teams let go down.

Well if your in a head 2 head league ran by Yahoo, its playoff time, next up we examine emails from our overbearing multitude of readers to find out what their stratagies are. Who'd dey play? Who'd dey sit?

C's who shoot 3's

Dudes who are sharp from beyond the arc. Talls who are on call for the long ball. Pivots that are sound from downtown. Peeps who can shoot there balls from deep. Men in the middle who are very good.....at long range shooting....indeed......? Whatever you wanna call these modern day "supermen" who defy the odds by being more than just stately, you certainly can't call them short-ranged. The big man with the outside shot has become a fantasy staple as the game has evolved and we at the bear wanted to take look at who's been helping the cause this season:

New Bloods and Young cubs:

Channing Frye:
Coming out of fucking no where, Channing began the season with a blistering 2.5 3's per game in the last 3 months of 2009. He was shooting 43% from deep and everyone who decided to take a flier after pick 160 was shitting there fantasy pants with fantasy excitement. Alvin Gentry decided to cut his minutes in 2010 though, resulting in Chan-man getting under 25 minutes per. He stills tosses in more than 1.5 per though at a roughly 45% clip, sitting him at 149 treys on the season, good for 3rd overall.

Andrea Bargnani:
A quality rebounder he is not. As Jose Calderon is to defence, 'Drea is to rebounding, but thats not that the point. The point is that 'Nani has been launching 4 tries a game this year from far away and making 1.5 of those tries. Consistency is not his specialty quite yet, as he's had a bit of a down march, but has managed to lower his to's month to month. After shooting 40% from balls deep and 83% from the stripe last year, his 3pt and ft percentage (suspicious) are both down a little to 36% and 76%. But overall he's doing a healthy 47.5% from the floor to go with a brisk 1.3 blocks a game.

Anthony Tolliver:
Another out-of-fucking nowhere guy who has exploded under Nellie's watchful gaze. Big Tony Tolliver has been bombing 5 3's a game in march hitting 36%! For a random d-leaguer, call me impressed. In fact Tolly can call me to hang out and talk about playing for Galatasaray in the turkish super lig. Will he be around next season? He's started 20 games for the W's but there's no guarantees in Nellie ball.

Kevin Love:
Kevins splits on the season are actually pretty interesting. He's been shooting way better coming off the bench, yet turning the ball over more. He's going 38.8 percent from deep, which is nice, but doing 45% from the floor, not so nice.

Spencer Hawes:
He loves tryin em folks, but doing a lowly 30% on 86 attempts this season is hogwash. His minutes have been down this season, so the numbers act accordingly. We'll have to wait and see who the sactown royalty want to pair with Tyreke for the future. Landry? Thompson? Hawes?

Ryan Anderson:
A pleasant surprise early in the season when he was filling in for the suspended Rashard Lewis, Mad Dog Madsen....er...Anderson started 6 games for the Magix and put up 15 pts, 5 boards and 2.8 3's on 43% shooting! Twas not to be though as Moshard quickly repented and Ryans minutes fell to under 20 per. Maybe some year Ryan, maybe next year?

Old-School, Old Bears:

Al Harrington:
Al never met a shot he didn't like, as far as I can tell. He's a chucker who never really wanted to rely on a post game and as early as his second year in Atlanta he kind of decided, why the fuck not? He's a little undersized for the C spot but but has been playing lots of it in the fantasy friendly towns of Oakland and new New York. He's good for about 2 per this year on a very chucker like 33.6%. I'm a little surprised that his career fg% over all is actually about 45% since he looks so stylish in gray.

Rasheed Wallace:
Wallace has been Sheed bombing it ever since his last years in Portland and not much has changed. The Celts don't need heavy minutes from him this year, but he still insists on taking four 3's a game in 22 minutes on the court, making about 1. Don't ask about his percentages...

Mehmet Okur:
A bit of a down year for the husband of a turkish beauty queen. His mpg has dipped to under 30 for the first time in 5 seasons and the pts, rbs, and 3's have dropped accordingly. He's checking in on his career 3pt% avg of 37%. Overall, Memo sbeen a bit of a pants kicker this year. Picking it up in march to the tune of 15 pts, 8 boards and 50% floor shooting though, it'll be interesting to see how this year end for Big Turk.

Troy Murphy:
Oh mama! Bring me home troy! Bring me home! There's not alot to dislike about Murphs game these days. He's playing like you hoped he would when you drafted him in the mid 30's. 14/10 with 1.8 3's, low to's and nice %'s (47/39/79) What more is there to fantasy life?

Matt Bonner:

The red bombardier has always had the distance to his his shot and nothing's changed, as his march is littered with puppies and 3's. 1.8 of them per game to be exact. He's made 1.5 per game in his last two year in SA and the shooting's been sound too. (44% from the arc last year, 41% this year) But Matty has always been one of those hustle players who is never gonna see a starting role unless it's for the first 20 minutes. Nonetheless, we hear @ the bear love Boner, and all the Boners of the world.

Brad Miller:

Brads Never really been a great long balled, but not for lack of trying as he's attempting 1 and a half of them this year. on 29.8 %. nuff said.

Brian Scalabrine:
He's sooooo good. Haha!

Anyone else you readers think has the tools for 3 school? Hit me up in the comments.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Oklahoma City Keepers

The thickness & the sickness, when were talkin keepers / investments in the fantasy world, OKC might just be luminaries in this department. With all the hot young talent on this roster, the (former Winnipeg) Thunder have only the Memphis Grizzlies (marc 'centra' gasol, rudy gay, ron ron brewdaddy, zach randolph & yeah, ok... conley) to rival them in beastly fantasy youth dominance. The Durantula is no secret, former Longhorner gets ingnorant on a nightly basis, scoring under 20 points only twice since Dec 19th. Like I said, no secret. Russell Westbrook exploded onto his 2nd year with creamy averages of 16.4pts - 5rebs - 8asts. Boards from a PG? You bet your ass. Averaging a steal and a half per as well. Even if he moves he'll do well, I can only imagine the damage he'd do in a point guard centric system ie: Portland / New Orleans. Jeff Green is no stranger to this blog either, lots of minutes, lots of production. Low risk - high reward. And before his hamstring sidelined him, James Harden appeared on the verge. Seems anytime he kicks around for +20min he makes an impact. He's gonna be a good shooter (especially from downtown), I can feel it in my loins. Harden might not be a keeper this year but he's doin his best to stay in our hearts. I'll give a 100% on keepage of Jeff/Russ/Duranty Panty. These youngsters have no where to go but up, and the future is so bright Russell Westbrook needs to wear shades to practice. (thanks gimme da rock)

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Injury Bug Meltdown: March 2010'

Christobell Paul is allegedly returning this week after missing close to a whopping 2 months with a Kneejerk. Every day he sits is a step closer to callin it quits this year, why risk more injury if Nawlins isnt gonna make the playoffs? Cee Pee Pleeeeease.

David Lee missed Friday's game against Iggy & the sev-sixes but came back with a Monstrosity of a line sunday with 27-20-6 with a sexy steal and 2 sexy blocks.

Tony 'the housewife' Parker is desperate to goose Fanarchy once more and big Pop is rumored to want him back soon. Till then Manu will continue to feast.

Anthony Randolph's life is clearly over. Don Nelson can't even remember who he is.

Tyreke Evans got mauled on friday and missed OT, they all said season ender but its looking like just a week and sum. In the meantime read reignfan's last post.

Deron Williams appeared to be horribly injured last night in NOLA (sporting ice packs on what appeared to be every single limb), but it didn't stop him from putting up a breathy 17-11-4 with 3 dicey thefts. I wish all my playas played through the pain.

Marky-Marc Gasol is toying with the idea of sitting out the rest of the season with a strained muscle in his neck. He's missed the last 3. We all hope it doesnt go down like this.

Gerald Wallace & Joe Johnson both came back sizzeling after being sidelined multiple days.

Next post we present an exclusive interview with Josh Smith. Maybe a webcam.

Cisco Garcia, living the vida loca?!?!?!

Tyreke Evans is concussed and therefore Francisco Garcia is temporarily in the starting 5 for the Sactown Queens. He and last decade's r&b sensation sisqo share one thing in common, whether it be through providing succulent 3-point shooting and defensive stats, or by providing Foxy Brown remixed videos http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fmph0dhHY4, both produce the arousal effect of viagra to fanstasy and thong enthusiasts alike. Cisco doesn't need to be a starter to contribute either, he plays well off the bench and is a 1-1-1 threat. In fact he's blocked a shot in his last 6 games. Toss in nice %'s and you've got yourself dumps like a truck.. I mean a solid roto value. Thighs like what.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Nene Hilarious!

Whose afraid of Nene Hilario? I am for sure. But dashingly handsome bloggers aside, it appears as if the Hornets are too. It looked like New Orleans (David West included) were terrified of driving the lane to find this reverse apache master in the key, who finished with a David 'dont tase me bro' Lee-like line. He's being criminally charged for theiving the rock 5 times and blocking it thrice. Nene has been loosing his mind from the field lately, shooting under 50% only once in March and a tasty fifty niner average on the year. His D is without question but his assists are whats unexpectedly sexy, the forward-center puttin in work for 2.5 per. Melo-yellow had a thicky as well last night with 26-18-4, but the big shot, Dr. Cock & Balls, Chauncey 'the grime' Billups wasted a start for everyone, 2-12 from the floor, proving to be as useless as lips on an asshole. Chauncey doesnt have long before he's done fantasy wise, 2 years tops.

But in the end, its Nene Hilarity that stole the night (well, D-wade too with his monster effort, but its so late in the day everyone already heard about it). Keep an eye on Nene, this year has been a major fantasy culture shock for us & him.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Nice Work, Demar Derozan!

Heating up like a hot, thick kolbasa on the grill in july, Demar has been scoring the ball alot lately. Not helping the Rapts too much as they've gone 1-4 in there last 5 games, but scoring the ball nonetheless. Getting about 14 points per with as few periferals as possible from the young knife fighter looks to be about what you can expect for this year, maybe even the next. However, Demar is bound to be the master of the stat sheet bbq fantasy cook off in years to come. maybe.

JOSH SMITH PROPAGANDA!!! and a few MPG shoutouts

J-Smooth how do i love thee, let me count the ways... Smitty does a bit of everything, and a lot of defense. He ranks 20th in rebs, 9th in stls, and 3rd in blks. No other player in the L has 100 blks and 100 stls, and only Bron and Iggy have more dimes as a forward. My keeper mancrush, Josh Smith, would be top 5 if he could shoot some damned free throws..

(For players who are low ownership ~25% but getting some run)

Anthony Tolliver:
Over his last 4 games he's averaged 37 minutes, and blew up on St. Patty's day with a monster line of 30pts 6rebs 3ass' to go along with 4tres 4stls and a block, %'s in check to. Never fear the D-league when Don Nelson is coaching, his lineups and rotations are picked out of a hat moments before game time.

Toney Douglas:
D'Antoni has zero reliable point guards. I thought Sergio might step up but he hasn't, now Douglas is starting (how did Mike not "Sprewell" Walsh for picking Jordan Hill over Brandon Jennings?) and putting up some decent #'s. His averages in the last 4 include nearly 18ppg 4rpg almost 5apg to go along with 2spg and 2tre'spg. I'd hit it.

Travis Outlaw:
Done as a starter for now but should still see over 25mpg, and has been bombing tre's since he arrived in LA-LA. With enough minutes he could toy with 1-1-1. Last 4: 14ppg 2tre'spg and 1bpg, you could do worse.

As Tyreke Evans swept clean the earth....

A few things to consider real quick as Tyreke continues to play like the next D-Wade, first off, will he invite me to b-list celebrity weed parties at his future sex condo? Do I have what it takes??

Second, everybody give a big round of applause to our newest, youngest fantasy cub Reignfan! We're all excited to read a shit-ton of his pro Josh Smith propaghanda. Who wouldn't be?

Aaron Brooks, thats who. He's too busy focusing on going 7-7 from behind the arc while Scola keeps given er' hell trying to get noticed for something other than his ghastly mug (20pts, 7rebs, 9-21).

Darren auto body & glass Collison repair was practically giving the ball away last night but still managed 20-14-6 while putting the rock in David West's trustworthy hands numerous times.

And finally, Stan 'Le Tigre' Van Gundy must have shit his pants last night. He's happy as punch with Vinsanity these days (oooohhh la la, thats minimal to's baby). And while Dwighty was sub par against the 'Pop & Spurs', the purple polish hammer Gortat made use of his 22 minutes with 7pts, 10 boards, anna steal anna block. Not bad Gorty, better than what those shit weasels from San Antonio were doing (Bogans & Roger fucking Mason) who combined for 5 points and terrible percentages.

And thats it for today folks, do we have a picture?

Ahhh, there we go.

NBA players on the cusp of the 3's/Stls/Blks Club

This years offenders who are in the club:

Lebron James: 1.8 3's, 1.7 stls, 1.1 blks

Dwyane Wade: 1 3, 1.9 stls, 1 blk

Well that list was no fun! Instead of lame-ass Lebron James and Flash Wade and there boring stat-lines, lets have a looksee @ the multitude of players on the brink of the ol' 1/1/1 club shall we?

Kevin Durant: He done it in February, but holds on to season numbers of 1.5 3's, 1.3 stls, 0.9 blks.

Danny Granger: He did it the last two years, and unfortunately this season has been a bit of a downer for bat-Dan, injury wise. He, like Durantula, is just a few blocks shy of le club with 2.5 3's, 1.5 stls and 0.9 blks

Andre Igoudala: This monster is experiencing a career high in blocks right now, but that still sets him short with 1.1 3's, 1.7 stls, 0.7 blks

Shane Battier: Although Assault and Battier has been a largely unspectacular fantasy player for his career, relying mostly on efficiency rather then gaudy supporting stats, he's been in the club once (two years ago) and has come within 0.5 every single year in the league! Astounding Shane. This year it's his steals that have left him a little dry with 1.5 3's, 0.8 stls and 1.2 blks.

Jeff Green: Jeffy has managed to keep his To's down a little this year while averaging 1.2 3's, 1.2 stls and 0.9 blks. The Pippen to Durants Jordan should be a healthy contributer to the club when he hits his prime in a few years.

Rudy Gay: a member 3 years ago, Rudyards 3 point attempts have dropped by 2.2 since his club year, forcing him into 0.8 3's, 1.5 stls and 0.9 blks.

Sheedmo Wallace: Old news right? The old stalwart is doing 1.1, 1.1 and 0.8 blks.

other notables: Baron Davis (0.4 blocks away), Gerald Wallace (0.3 3's away), Danillio Gallinari (0.4 combined stls/blks away) and Marcus Camby (1.0 3's away)

Next up we take a look @ C's who shoot 3's. Is Anthony Tolliver the real deal? Will Spencer Hawes ever realize his range is poor @ best? Will yahoo ever revoke Eduardo Najeras center eligibility? Our readers weigh in!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Go Deep! Go Dahntay?

Hooooold your high horses! Did you say Dahntay Jones? But he's a shit heel! Yes friends I agree, but if your in deep roto, and im talkin DEEP (around the 16-20 realm) you might find some of deez nutz useful. Don't get all fuckin crazy on us and play him every night, but watch his ass closely while Mangy Grangy is out.

Calderon's gonna get eaten by J-Smooth if he doesnt watch himself

Spanish Inquisition

No way Jose! You think you got what it takes to put the daddy pants back on? That's right kids, Jarrett 'David Bowie discography' Jack is back to the reserve. Jack's averaged 12.8 points and 5.4 assists in 43 games as a starter this season versus 8.3 and 4.0 as the other woman, so set your lineup accordingly. Expect steals to diminish as well. Playing time is a major factor in Jerry, J-bo, Jakuska's fantasy role, and I think the Rap-daddys are generally better off with him as a starter. And that's too bad, Calderon doesn't have shit for D anymore, and his game fluxuates regardless of the time spent on court. But Jay Triano will do whatever Colangelo says or the next thing he knows, he'll be crying at a bar beside Sam Mitchell.

"Get the fuck in there for Turkoglu!"

"Me no speaka a' english!"

Nice Work, Josh Boone!

Boone goes the dynamite! After receiving some sketchy starts early in the year highlighted by 25 + minutes in December, then potentially getting injured or lost in the woods or something, Oscar Joshua "Josh" Boone has fallen back into favor in the garden state. He's been starting the last 5 games for Kiki Vanderboone, while accomplishing almost nothing. Until last nights beefy 13 point, 20 rebound double trouble performance against the Hot City Hawks, who have been fucking rolling lately. Looking back @ some of Oscar's games over the years, bros been reasonably effective as a starter with avg's of 8/8, 54% from the floor, 1.1 blocks and a ft% that would make Dwight Howard blush. Should the Nyets trade/fire/kill Brook Lopez and hand the keys over to Booner? I'm giving the 100% on this one.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

R.I.P. Gerald Wallace

October 28th 2009 - March 12th 2010.
We had a great run this year, shared alot of memories, lotta bulk on the stat sheet. Unfortunately all good things come to an end. With Gerald's history of savage bestial hustle during games (yeah we all know... Crash), as well as Gerald averaging the most minutes in the NBA (42 per) it normally points to devastating reprocussions when he goes down. March 12th (ankle) is the word for now, and with Captain Jax leading the Bobcats on a fury that might launch they're first ever playoff birth, Larry "biggie-bad" Brown might just sit Gerald through the rest of the thick. But who knows, im just a little emotional right now... thats all. Was Gerald high on glue at the all star game?

Running Scared : Iguodala in 2010

We know you want out of Philly but dont do us like this Iggy. Shooting way below his means, especially from downtown (1 for 19 in the last 4 games, yikes), this isnt typical play from a player whose trying to get other teams interested.

Let's talk Jeff Green for a second, I like em, how about you? He's lookin to sign an extension with OKC and I think thats swell. With all the hot young talent they got over there, especially with Jeffy G lathering the stat sheet with his season high recently, they might as well drag Nick Collison out onto the streets and shoot him.

And finally Derrick Rose is expected to miss his 2nd straight game with a wrist injury. Is James Johnson gonna get ignorant again? We hope so! Heres looking at you James!

Nice Work Toney Douglas!

Looks like your in for the next few weeks Toney! 20 points, 7 dimes and 3 steals highlighted a solid all-round line for the knick rook that seemed to impress Mike D. Gettem in those line-ups you rubes.....Same goes for Jrue Holiday in case you didn't know yet. He had 18 points, 8 rebounds and 6 dishes in the same game and is starting to sport nifty march averages of 14/5 assists with a steal and half and 2 three's per. I'm loving all the young rookie guards this year. So much dead sexy talent......Boston trounced Detroit last night in a game with absolutely no stunning lines to speak of, unless efficiency is your thing. (Ray Allen 6-9, 2-4 from the arc, 15 pts with no to's)......Aaron Brooks taut (tought? toaght? taoghutg? fuck) the Nuggets a thing or two on his way to 31 pts, 9 assists and a pair of 3's. Carmelo Soprano went for 45 and 10 but couldn't hold on for the nugs when it counted.....post script. What the fucking shit Aaron Brooks? Is this guy for reelz? Is he seriously top 50 material? He's been doing it all year and has only gotten better after the all-star break.......Steph Curry gave Kobe a run for his hills with 11-19 shooting, 29 pts and 5 3's....Kobe put 29 on the board as well but managed to turn the ball over 9 times, like a douche....and finally Darren Collision auto and glass continues to impress with 18/14 with 2 3's as he dueled with Baron Davis who put up a meaty 18/17 double double. Collison's march splits include 16 points, 11 dimes and a shade under two steals per on 50% shooting from the floor.
Next up? A fantasy basketbears staff party, followed by a our preliminary, extremely in-depth minor league baseball relief pitcher rankings. Is Casey beck gonna rack up more saves than Richard de los Santos this year in the New York-Penn league? Our readers weigh in!

something like this

Monday, March 15, 2010

Freaky Tyreky

Tyreke Evans is on the verge of becoming the sexiest man alive, or maybe just sexiest guard of this years rookie class. Either way, he fell 1 board short of his 2nd triple double in the last 3 games. He's borderline drunk on TO's but his all around studliness cannot be denied. Top of the list for 'Rook of da Year', Tyreke goes by many names, 'guard', 'passer', 'scorer', 'sex machine' and 'enemy of Beno Udrih & Omri Casspi's playing time.'

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Ryan Ahoff might still find fantasy relevence in Rasheed Wallace.....

....but I don't. Now, obscure Canadian speed metal references aside, the Sheed of 2010 is cutting no where near the amount of mustard the Celtics had planned on for they're dynasty sandwich. Joining the 6th man club severely diminished blocking for Sheed, and although his averages indicate 1.1 steals per, its never worth it to play him everyday for the other unbelievably poor stats that creep out of nowhere. Although Yahoo still ranks him generously and 62% of lost souls are still apparantley starting him in roto leagues, it seems Sheedy-Pants' fantasy game has gone the way of the dodo bird, potentially due to lack of shape (weight gain). Video killed the radio star, and if you ask me, potato chips and big macs killed Rasheed's relevence.

Nice Work Luis Scola!

Call my crazy but Will Bynum looks like a baller. He was putting up some nice games back in November when Detroit was giving him 30 minutes a night and last night he put up a very pg-like 16/7 with 4 to's.....It was battle of the two undisputed, unquestionably best big men in the league in in DC last night as Dwight Howard put up a muscular 28/15 while Andray Blatche dropped 32 on Dwighty.........Jr Smith blacked out and woke up to find he'd shot 7-10 from deep against the Memphis grizzled. Going for 30 is old news for JR, but surprisingly only the second time he's done it this season.....TONEY DOUGLAS is a roster go from now on, as evidence by his box score, he's promised to never turn the ball over ever. ever ever......Luis Scola's Argentinian prayers were answered in the form of 20-25 shooting from the floor to go with some nice peripherals. He finished with beastly 44 and 12......Travis Outlaw got 40 minutes of run last night vs the Spurs and he should be a solid contributer for the rest of the year, pulling out a modest 17/6/5......in the same game and the same vein, George Hill has been a rock for the spurs and continues to impress by playing the point like a big boy for Gregg pop. He been doing about 16 pts, 5 assts in march while turning the ball over a whole 0.7 TIMES A GAME!......
And finally, the Rapts and the We Believes did there no defense thing in Oakland allowing for some eye-popping lines...Steph Curry had 35/10 dimes with 5 three's.... Monta dropped 31 with 5 three's and Jose "Spanish date farmer" Calderon dub-dubbed with 24/12 and and a very accurate 7 three's.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


For a great read on former NBA ballers who put there heads down and score 30 points a game in China head on over to http://www.shamsports.com/content/pages/ It appears Williams has been playing in the CBA this season. Lots of good info on other players too.

Keepers : Build your Dynasty

Well, theres a little over a month left in regular season play, the majority of fantasy trade deadlines have passed and most waiver wires are looking grim. Those of us in keeper leagues know that now is the time for executive decisions to be made. Tough decisions, hurtful decisions.... sexy decisions.

Im not gonna waste anytime talking about the obvious keepers like Lebron James (aka Bron Bron) or Chris 'doesnt want to ball as long as i'm his GM' Paul, or even Dwyane 'invite me to one of your condo sex parties' Wade. We all know the no-brainers. I thought taking a look at some hot young upcoming studs would be useful.

Brandon Jennings might have a hateble hair style and maybe even personality in general, but averaging almost 16 points and 6 assists a game (not to mention almost a steal and a half per) while puttin in 33 minutes a game looks pretty good to me. Some work needs to be done with his field goal but thats what next year is for. This hyper active Twitter abuser could easily push aside guards like Mo Williams, Jason Terry or Calderon (i know some of you kept him) on your dynasty roster.

The same positive synopsis could easily be concluded of guards like Russell Westbrook (except tack on rebounds as an added bonus), Aaron Brooks or Stephen Curry.

Looking for a high scoring forward? Forget KG and Elton Brand this year, you want to sink your teeth into LaMarcus Aldridge. Shakey from late december through january, but thick and commited, Aldridge is on his way to a 20-10 average with a handful of assists & steals. And lets face it, he's just so fun to watch.

And now, the illusive spot, the big C. Marc "the future" Gasol came out of nowhere (Pau's shadow?) this year with major fantasy viability. Averaging a block and a half plus a steal per, as well as 15 pts and just shy of 60% from the field, they called him Mini-Pau, although he's actually an inch taller. His rebounding efforts are without question, it almost seems like he and Zach Randolph are the only two players boarding in Memphis at all. In fact, Marc is almost a Mini-Zach too, except his defensive contributions are much more noticable and effective. There doesnt seem to be any possible reason why his production would slow down in any catagory, in fact I'd bank on it going through the roof.

A few notable keeper worthy centers I can't resist mentioning are Bogut whose gay ass hair doesnt do his beefy game justice. Al Horford (but you probably already kept him this year), Spencer Hawes ( and your only doin it for the boards and blocks, but you gotta get em somewheres), Roy Hibbert (i like this guy), Kevin Love and Luis Scola.

And although certain players might serve you well and take you on a few hot steamy one night flings throughout the year, we all have 'Do Not Keep' lists. Heres a few degenerates I have on mine:

Greg Oden
Michael Redd
Jose Calderon
Jason 'old as shit' Kidd
Shawn Marion
Stephen Jackson
Jameer Nelson
Blake Griffen (yeah i said it)
Tony Parker
Paul Millsap
Jason Terry
Tyrus Thomas
Lamar Odom

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

What ever happened too......

....Sean Williams?
Drafted 1st round (17th pick) by the Nets in 07' for his strong defensive potential, this young man appeared to be on the verge. His block numbers were much much more than impressive from Nov-Feb of the 07'-08' season. Take a quick look back at his gamelog, the rebounding was tasty as shit for a rookie as well. Im actually having quite a good time reflecting on this lanky youngsters blocks as I type this. Then he seems to have fallen off the face of the planet, for better or for worse, we here at the bear still wonder what happened to guys like Sean Williams. Is he dead? Scared? Timid? Doing a line of coke off of Brook Lopez's newly high profile ass in the Nets locker room? If anyone has information regarding the whereabouts of Sean Williams, dont hesistate to contact us here at Basketbear and let us know.

Thickies of the Night (March 8th)

There were a few bruisers last night thats for sure, lets take a quick look.

Anthony Morrow - 28pts, 11-13 fg, 6-6 3ptm

David West - 28 pts, 13 rebs, 2stl, 11-16 fg

Shawn Marion came back to life with 29pts, 14rebs, 3 stls

Al Jeff - 36 pts, 13 rebs

Courtney Lee - 30pts on 13-20 shooting

Mo Williams - 17-8-8

and finally, the line of all lines, it reigns supreme

Manu Ginobili - 38pts, 7 rebs, 5 ast, 7-3ptm

you know what this means Manu....

Rogaine baby

Sunday, March 7, 2010

3's On Sale Now at K-Mart!

Holy fuck, who took this picture?

Kevin Martin has boarded the 3ptm banana boat down in Houston and is not looking back, laying down as many from behind the arc in the the last 3 games as he did in all of February. Yahoo loves 3's and if thats your vehicle to fantasy then I would not hesistate to get K-Smart.

Mike Miller is getting lots of credit for his production beyond the arc but Mikey hasn't hit 15 points in 8 games.

Q-Rich blew up on march 4th against the Lakers, but we all know he's an injury prone douchebag who can't be trusted.

J.R. Smitty has the 2nd most 3's in the league in the last 10 days, but make sure your sitting down when you notice its 21 made on 49 attempted.

Courtney Lee is 7 for 10 in the last 2.

Ray Allen's been jerkin us around.
And Corey Maggette thankfully doesnt shoot any.

Staring back at the Maggette in the Mirror

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Nice work Manu!

Lets get one thing straight first of all, I dont like you Manu, never have. I dont like your face, I dont like the Spurs, i'm completely disgusted by your hair piece (alleged hair piece). But sweet fancy moses, i'll be damned if your fantasy viability doesnt tickle me right up in no mans land. Wherever these assists are coming from I do not care, i'll take em. And the 3's... my god the 3's. The steals this Argentinian are bringing in are effective to say the least. Fuckin guy even blocks effectively, and the rebounds are solid enough of a shooting guard to make an impact. Not to mention 86% free throws on the year. I seriously hate to admit it, but Manu has almost earned the rank of sex mongloid lately. Keep up the good work champ, you rock another month of these kind of stats and i'll personally mail you a six month supply of Rogaine.