Sunday, February 28, 2010

Get Fucked Turkoglu

So big Turk, whats the deal? What's goin on here? Last I checked you were flapping those pizza consuming gums about not getting enough touches, complaining that Jay 'the main vein' Triano was letting Jarrett Jack and Calderon run the show from point. I mean, they are solid point guards right? Jack more than Calderon at the moment, but still, they're point guards, its what they are paid to do. So what happened when Triano worked in more touches for you? Hmmm? I watched you fumble and turn the ball over like you were scared of it with my own eyes multiple times big guy. Does anyone really give a fuck how much of a playmaker you were in Orlando? Anyone at all? The rouse you've created of high scoring games in the past 3 has NOT fooled me Turk. Jarrett Jack wants to be there, as does Calderon, and I think it's pretty clear that you can't wait to start putting back 6 packs of sprite and cheese pizzas on the reg like you did all summer. Christ sakes, your such an unwholesome addition to a team I consider sacred. GET FUCKED.

Joe Johnson is a rapist!!!

.... of my field goal %

wake up out of this ineffective slumber and get your shit together pal.

ps: i still love you

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Waiver Wire Fuck ups

You could do a lot worse than Luc Richard Mbah a Moute this February. Wildly inconsistent and offering little outside points and boards, LRMAM has leveled out @ 9/8 with less than a TO per. Does quiet efficiency win Fantasy games? Yahoo seems to think so.

TJ Ford is back in a decent way after sitting the coldest, loneliest month of the year. Feb's avg s look like 14/3/3 with decent shooting from the field(49%) and the stripe (89%).

Travis Outlaw is healthy and and getting minutes for the lowly Clipperbockers. I love me some Outlaw and he could easily push Rasual (Zulio) Butler down the depth chart.

I know Wade is out right now, but Mario Chalmers is showing signs of life doing 12/5/4 with a plethora of 3's and stls (3.3 combined). This could be the opportunity that gets Mario back into the starting gig and fantasy relevance.

Deep Leaguers?

Antoine Wright has been getting a shade under 30 minutes a game lately and he's been hoisting up 3's like a parliamentary procedure used in Canadian legislative bodies. (Thanks Wiki)

The art of the Triple Double

Somebody had to fill in the 16 shots a game Caron Butler has been taking for the Mavs last night and it was non other than Jason "old as shit" Kidd. While Tuff Juice was sitting out for straw chewing:
Old man Kidd played like his balls were on fire posting a 19/17/16 triple double on the way to a Mavs win versus the Hawks. This is actually Jason's first trip-dub of the season leaving him a bit shy of the pace he set two years ago when he finished with 14 on the year, and unlikely he'll touch the 38 more he need to catch Magic Johnson on the all-time list. Anyway, I think its painfully obvious that Lebron is the new master of the t-Dub, but lets look @ who's posted one so far this year eh?

Lebron James:
He's come within 1 assist or 1 rebound or both about a dozen times this season, posted one ho-hum TB (23/11/12) and two spectacular lines (34/10/16) and (43/15/13).

Rojon Rondo:
I'm actually a little surprised that Ragin' Rono has only T-Dubbed once this season, a 22/13/10 effort against the Rapts back in January

Josh Smith: vs CHI 18/10/14

Russel Westbrook: @ MIN 22/14/10

Steph Curry: Massive effort by the rookie just before the all-star break checking in @ a guerilla 36/13/10

Darren Collison: vs.IND 18/13/12

Baron Davis: @MEM 27/12/12

Chris Paul; @HOU 16/10/11

Has someone else scaled the wall this year? Hit me up if in the comments if you think they got the tools to do so.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Turnovers: The forbidden fruit

Here's a quick shout out to a few characters who have kept the ball to themselves while throwin down nice games in the last 10 days.

Antawn Jamison
Gerald Wallace
Lamarcus Aldridge
Martell Webster
Rasual Butler
Zach Randolph
Chris Bosh (final game before injury)
Andrea Bargnani
Corey Brewer
Brendan Haywood
Courtney Lee

Whoevers key it is Varejao, its definitely not yours

One last thing before i drink myself retarded

Let's have a quick moment of silence for Portland whose recently aquired (feb 16th) new center Marcus Camby went down with an ankle injury on tuesday. The move was made to fill the then empty center spot which became deserted after nudie pic Oden and the Vanilla Gorilla hit the golf course (or.... photo studio in Oden's case) for the remainder of the season. Camby's current injury is apparantly not too be worried about, but still..... I feel for ya Portland.

Now lets take a moment in honor of Nate Mcmillan's shattered dreams.

Rasual anyone?

Yes please! I'd gladly sign up for 4 3ptm a game on an almost regular basis. Don't believe me? No one ever does, check his game log, he's put back 24 bangers from behind the arc so far in february. Not too mention almost a block a game this month as well. Now Sualio, as I call him, is a tricky devil, I have tearfully watched him lose his mind from the 3point line many many nights as he sat on my bench, then when the odds and averages seemed in my favor i'd throw him in the starting lineup for jack shit. Next night, 4 3ptm, 1 stl, 1 blk. And the dance continues. With Travis Outlaw touching down in Los Angeles soon, Sualio's minutes are expected to be affected, surely his production will too. But please my friends and loyal followers, heed my word, play this specialist asap! Play him tonight! Don't get wrapped up in the same vortex of misplays that I did.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Get Fucked, Tony Parker!

You goosed me Tony! You goosed me hard this year. With a pre-draft rank of around 60-70 this year going into drafts, TP looked like a potential steal. A 20 point per game scorer with enough assists to make an impact and FG% worthy of a C. Never mind that the "overrated" tag was beginning to be associated with his fantasy game. Never mind that the nagging injuries had been piling up over the last 3 seasons, I felt good about Tony this year. He was coming off a 72 game campaign with avg's of 22/6.9 and 50% from the floor and when my number got called in the middle of the fifth round I felt good about adding him to my big ball team. It was him, Jason Terry or Russel Westbrook. sigh. Playing basketball is hard though, so I guess it's me who should really get fucked.

Nice Work Bogut!

So we all know now that Bogey learned to block, doubling his bpg this season so far from last, and although boards come from all corners of the court, his rebounding numbers are fairly impressive. This big beast could probably cut back a little on the turnovers, but when healthy, he is suredly consistent, and the scoring is reminent of Dwight Howard two years ago. Keeper leagues make a spot on your roster for the greasy Australian, cause this dynamo looks to be in it for the long haul.

Coming up next, a hateful Turkoglu post. Im gonna sit on it for a bit and let the hatred manifest into something really scathing.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Get Fucked Daniel Gibson

Mo Williams, out 3-4 weeks, probably more, that leaves Cleveland with 2 sub par options, then the lesser of the 2 evils Delonte West goes down with a broken finger. What are we left with?? In a perfect world we're left with starting minutes that lead to a 3 point fuck fest, a tasty sack of steals and a handful of assists. In the real world, time and time again, we're left with Daniel Gibson passing point guard duty to Lebron amongst other feats the king has to conquer. Yahoo fucking loves Gibson and its got to do with 3's. But lets face it, in a league where 3pt attempts are counted, Boobie will ravage you everytime. All this guy does is jack up 3's with no regard for a quality fg%. Deeper leagues might have a spot for this guy and those wack things he shaves into his head on they're rosters, but even with the opportunity to shine, Daniel Gibson is as useless as a 'Dont Piss On The Seat' sign in a 7-11 bathroom. We all miss you Mo Williams.

Boobie your FG% is SHAAAT

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

All-Star Break

A time to reflect on the first half, also a time to rest for a few days and forget about the onslaught of pressure, drama, hatred, tears and pain that came with the first half. Most of us use this hiccup in the regular season as a time to assess where we stand in our respective leagues. Zach Randolph and valentines day are just around the corner, but we all know then when it comes to fantasy, the love is not in the air. Only the bitter taste of CP3's surgury lingering on our tongues. Whatever the cause may be, the injury bug has not had a serious impact on me as of yet so ill wait till a later blog to discuss the sorrow and hidden opportunities that come with a man down.

Although, speaking of injuries, or more specifically, speaking of Portland, id like to talk about Andre Miller for a second. He's older, he's haunted, he's ahead of his time. Ok, so maybe he's not completely ahead of his time, or maybe not at all, but we all remember the 52 point banger with 71% fg he threw down against Dallas on January 30th. Understandably this excited lots of owners, for obvious reasons, but lets not forget, as it stands, Andre's current o-rank is a purely a product of Brandon Roy's injury. Take his gamelog back to november and december and you'll see what I mean. Portland has become an anomoly these days thanks to an unlucky, and overwhelming spout of injuries. Andre Miller is running the show and the only big man available is that douchebag Juwan Howard. And lets face it, Juwan Howard should by all rights have zero fantasy relevence at all. Now while Andre isnt the dime dropping machine he was last year in Philly, it wasnt expected of him with Roy fronting the team, but it was reasonably assumed that he'd be good for a handful of assists if drafted circa round 6 through even 10, and 6 is being generous. Keep an eye on him for now, but when Roy retains his rightful spot as starting PG then Andre's lines will certainly go back to the way they were at the start of the year. The dark times I call it, a greasy multitude of 4-4-3 games.

One more thing I wanted to touch on real quick was the man himself, Gerald Wallace. An uncontrollable, unquenchable pyscho-sexual orgy of numbers from all corners of the stat sheet, this monster has had fantasy GM's singing in the shower since october. What's interesting about Gerald is the way his fantasy value has shifted over the years. From leading the league in steals, averaging 2.5 a game, as well as 2.5 blocks, with virtually no field goal percentage at all in 2005/06, too leading the league in boards for the first 2 months this year and cleaning up his shooting game, he has been there and done that. Almost doubling the amount of rebs per game since 2007/08, his fantasy value has kept him ranked top 30 by yahoo through all major changes to his game. Tack on his first all star appearance and his return to the dunk comp this year, keep the FG% at an alltime best and we could be talking serious mental fantasy basketball illness. So Gerald, you sex panther you, lets stay healthy, stop chasing balls into the stands, and keep this party bus of a gamelog going.

Get real Wally

Going into the break: Nice Work Jarred Jeffries!

Dude is averaging a combined 2.5 blocks and stls since he was moved to starter back in early december and that shit does not grow on trees. A players value can be greatly increased just by his defense in fantasy and we here @ bearsketball just wanted to give a shout out to some of the unsung heroes of fantasy defence.


Joel Anthony:
A year ago Chris Anderson was being lauded for his abilities to swat shots in minimal playing time. Around 2.5 in about 20 minutes per. Great, grand, wonderful. The canadian Joel Anthony has been doing a 1.4 blocks/per clip for 3 years, playing a little less than 17 minutes a game for his career! That translates to roughly 60-70 blocks fer 36 minutes by my calculations. Mans a beast.

Tyrus Thomas:
We all know and love Tyrus, he was fun to own last year and this year has been a bit of an injured douche bag. But looking @ his game log this year would throw anyone into fits of defensive pleasure. He hasn't really got the consistent PT so far, but his games are still peppered with healthy block and steal totals, despite avg. about 22 minutes per.

Ronny Turiaf:
You can basically just go back and read what I said about Joel Anthony here, because Ronny is a frenchman who knows how to reject shots when he's on the court. He can even score sometimes, but not from outside the 3 point line, so Don Nelson hates him.

Ben Wallace:
Who else? Uncle Ben has made a fantasy career outta being a man possesed on defense. In his prime he was nearing five, (5!) combined blocks and steals! Despite not scoring, not having an impact on fg% and being one of the worst FT shooters of all time, Biggy Ben still swatted and swiped (ok, and rebounded) his way to being a top 10ish, 15ish fantasy selection for every year he was in detroit. Epic.

Coming up next: Stls!