Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Kris Humphries is on the rebound

We know things have been tough for Kris, we've been keeping up with the tabloids (that's right, we're hip and in touch), that nasty divorce could have spelt bad news for anyone. Tack on the looming stress of potentially not having a job this year and any lesser PF/C would have fled to China with the rest of the Denver Nuggets, but not Kris, he's tough. He went from total shithead logging like 3 min a game or something with the Raps in 08'/09' (ok well maybe he averaged 9 but the truth isn't what were getting at here), to the fresh faced Kardashian prowler on the Nets, ended up perpetually blowing every ones minds and getting married to Kim, then getting divorced, then fending off gay rumours, to the present where he's assumed Brook Lopez's minutes and found himself on the rebound. In the Nets season opener he clocked in a hefty 39 min and beasted for 21pts and 16rebs. Talk about succulent. Talk about Zach Randolphish. Yahoo! brought him in ranked at 39 this year which I didn't trust, but hey, I also drafted JJ Hickson onto one of my teams. Basically what I'm saying is back off ladies, he may be on the rebound trying to get over the whirlwind of celebrity fame and marriage he recently partook in, but (judging by the headline picture of this article) he's not looking for a new female squeeze, only a barrage of boards, both offensive and defensive. Could be trouble for Brook who just came off a less than impressive fantasy year and is targeting a February return.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

2011 Fantasy Basketball: CP3 alley-oop to Blake Griffin

It's arrived! We fucking did it! It took me a lot of threatening phone calls to the mayor of Basketball town but I got this season fucking rolling! You can thank me by leaving unmarked envelopes with white powder in them on the doorstep of your post office. You know about all the great sites listed to left that offer shit tons of ranks, tips and info on how to satisfy your wife via fantasy basketball but what you don't know is that the Bear has been watching Blake Griffin mix tape's on youtube all winter and now loves alley-oops more then ever. CP3 with the Bi-racial Facial is a deadly combo and should help boost Blakey past Dwight Howard in blocks, Lebron James in scoring and Rondo in steals. My sources also tell me that when David Stern steps down, Blake Griffin will be the first Commissioner/Player in league history. I might have set the bar a little high for his season but he's young, studly and full of dunks. Watch the trade reaction video.
Edit: Blake Griffin top 10 missed dunks

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