tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66434572150791873352024-02-07T20:53:11.991-06:00Fantasy BasketbearReverse Hibernation Next Level Fantasy BearFanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.comBlogger186125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-48742922777910081452015-02-25T13:37:00.002-06:002015-02-25T13:37:20.839-06:00WowMost of the sites linked in the sidebar no longer exist! WowFanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-55302473959855760052011-12-27T15:45:00.002-06:002011-12-27T16:06:38.504-06:00Kris Humphries is on the rebound<a href="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llrm56Q2kY1qe6vsbo1_500.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 409px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 516px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llrm56Q2kY1qe6vsbo1_500.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div>We know things have been tough for Kris, we've been keeping up with the tabloids (that's right, we're hip and in touch), that nasty divorce could have spelt bad news for anyone. Tack on the looming stress of potentially not having a job this year and any lesser PF/C would have fled to China with the rest of the <a href="http://blogimages.thescore.com/tbj/files/2011/09/nuggets-in-china.jpg">Denver Nuggets</a>, but not Kris, he's tough. He went from total shithead logging like <em>3 min</em> a game or something with the Raps in 08'/09' (ok well maybe he averaged 9 but the truth isn't what were getting at here), to the fresh faced Kardashian prowler on the Nets, ended up perpetually blowing every ones minds and getting married to <a href="http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2010/12/kris-humphries-kim-kardashian.jpg">Kim</a>, then getting divorced, then <a href="http://cdn.imeanwhat.com/imw/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/kris-humphries-gay-e1322758320982.jpg">fending off gay rumours</a>, to the present where he's assumed Brook Lopez's minutes and found himself on the rebound. In the Nets season opener he clocked in a hefty <em>39 min</em> and beasted for <em>21pts</em> and <em>16rebs. </em>Talk about succulent. Talk about Zach Randolphish. Yahoo! brought him in ranked at 39 this year which I didn't trust, but hey, I also drafted JJ Hickson onto one of my teams. Basically what I'm saying is back off ladies, he may be on the rebound trying to get over the whirlwind of celebrity fame and marriage he recently partook in, but (judging by the headline picture of this article) he's not looking for a new female squeeze, only a barrage of boards, both offensive and defensive. Could be trouble for Brook who just came off a less than impressive fantasy year and is targeting a February return. </div>Crashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374428190863447483noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-51488526495288036722011-12-15T15:38:00.006-06:002011-12-15T16:00:39.513-06:002011 Fantasy Basketball: CP3 alley-oop to Blake GriffinIt's arrived! We fucking did it! It took me a lot of threatening phone calls to the mayor of Basketball town but I got this season fucking rolling! You can thank me by leaving unmarked envelopes with white powder in them on the doorstep of your post office. You know about all the great sites listed to left that offer shit tons of ranks, tips and info on how to satisfy your wife via fantasy basketball but what you don't know is that the Bear has been watching Blake Griffin mix tape's on youtube all winter and now loves alley-oops more then ever. CP3 with the Bi-racial Facial is a deadly combo and should help boost Blakey past Dwight Howard in blocks, Lebron James in scoring and Rondo in steals. My sources also tell me that when David Stern steps down, Blake Griffin will be the first Commissioner/Player in league history. I might have set the bar a little high for his season but he's young, studly and full of dunks. Watch the trade reaction <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5xLCJaiGio">video</a>.<br />Edit: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq9pLKqd1e8&feature=related">Blake Griffin top 10 missed dunks</a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYcGSfYyn4QYlPUd_O1lEkDVLwaWD6RgIGpMpOM3wfVNmrvPIrC6bTNm-mlbwt5e5c9dnGeD1vjmZbqb2Wzz2msVXUqqmr6UCzTj70-fbuYCpt8pVjiHz2zk7kVNtNfBhIUnrnZh-rfPxu/s1600/girlandbear.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYcGSfYyn4QYlPUd_O1lEkDVLwaWD6RgIGpMpOM3wfVNmrvPIrC6bTNm-mlbwt5e5c9dnGeD1vjmZbqb2Wzz2msVXUqqmr6UCzTj70-fbuYCpt8pVjiHz2zk7kVNtNfBhIUnrnZh-rfPxu/s400/girlandbear.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686477023510983074" border="0" /></a><br />Follow us on <a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/The_Basketbear">Twitter</a>. We won't bite your small, nimble fingers.Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-12737760211465789342011-06-19T22:24:00.002-05:002011-06-19T22:26:54.411-05:00Mock Drafts!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv0vOKWXeyALjRC6Mqozkvv0GIUhumJ6jWmqzXfMz0OhR9gT35V-QDUXK3ZmdHzxYcrw2KZ7D3BcxoDa-IZfkNwGJGuV8-4iLtg7OEdYu4XvMywGyJVS3iqluoKIRGS2UmDtLOlzpQGpPe/s1600/Kyrie-Irving-Duke1.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 261px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv0vOKWXeyALjRC6Mqozkvv0GIUhumJ6jWmqzXfMz0OhR9gT35V-QDUXK3ZmdHzxYcrw2KZ7D3BcxoDa-IZfkNwGJGuV8-4iLtg7OEdYu4XvMywGyJVS3iqluoKIRGS2UmDtLOlzpQGpPe/s400/Kyrie-Irving-Duke1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5620138089156152482" border="0" /></a><br />Too early for the 2012 fantasy mock draft? Get Fucked! It's coming up!Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-11862677801057983242011-06-13T15:40:00.002-05:002011-06-13T15:40:28.024-05:00Dallas wins 'Chip<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNdcGxCeuT-MJ7Wd2TIRGxpjVfwo7c27ER8PYlNmOS4TrNKNFb21lCPfgfj4pb42_oqmlvibumzcWZvWCR6akPfUxG_4-vcJEZwXx_QgDvhkCpiHI3wFhCRNaOAm39tt953Dbu_4SCKjie/s1600/dirk_lebron.jpeg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNdcGxCeuT-MJ7Wd2TIRGxpjVfwo7c27ER8PYlNmOS4TrNKNFb21lCPfgfj4pb42_oqmlvibumzcWZvWCR6akPfUxG_4-vcJEZwXx_QgDvhkCpiHI3wFhCRNaOAm39tt953Dbu_4SCKjie/s400/dirk_lebron.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5617807018260121618" border="0" /></a>Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-75630306706391220472011-04-21T19:59:00.004-05:002011-04-21T20:12:12.617-05:00Holy Fuck!The Fantasy season is over! No Fucking Way! Thanks for the update! You lost all your leagues? Should have listened to the bear and picked up Tyler Hansborough when he was still a fetus. Now What? What the fuck do you think? The bear grabs a big ass bottle of smooth tasting liquor and fucks off to a hole in the base of the biggest tree in Sherwood forest, robbing from the rich and dishing fantasy advice to the poor all winter. Aside from handing out shitty end of season fantasy awards, there is not a whole lot left to talk about as far as fantasy basketball is concerned. We are done updating until summer. We are also done getting paid in unmarked fish heads. Next year it's gotta be perch or higher. Tell your parents you need fish for school then send it care of:<br /><br />Fantasy Basketbear<br />A Big Ass Cave<br />The Woods<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT3VYmgHobNRMW6jR3HkeU91gmGPBmMunY7YT4UrYuhYLrvsZwevXnqSfIVWISwxb4VJWVfHc7WgbJT-xfOJpW7lxPzlYmSGvaVdFSb3vh2TAl_96xJKIM9QQ3vP82a0QQnn3mdfwNmWoM/s1600/hoopdreamscrushed.jpeg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 503px; height: 407px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT3VYmgHobNRMW6jR3HkeU91gmGPBmMunY7YT4UrYuhYLrvsZwevXnqSfIVWISwxb4VJWVfHc7WgbJT-xfOJpW7lxPzlYmSGvaVdFSb3vh2TAl_96xJKIM9QQ3vP82a0QQnn3mdfwNmWoM/s400/hoopdreamscrushed.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598208160594427042" border="0" /></a>Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-44689454359509724832011-04-05T15:15:00.005-05:002011-04-05T18:35:14.517-05:00Fantasy Basketball: End Game<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNO2rqzDaAetOWxpkLASkgvA0iJcD05XTgLhScyjE7FXRtuW9aFcFk5PFREHJC4mpFakh_ebIAOGaSiSKpAx_jaI0YCS2NG3F5BbjeIssLth_EyW7YdcaTLBtp_HdP_Zqw0XFaIliVXGKd/s1600/bballworld.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 354px; height: 352px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNO2rqzDaAetOWxpkLASkgvA0iJcD05XTgLhScyjE7FXRtuW9aFcFk5PFREHJC4mpFakh_ebIAOGaSiSKpAx_jaI0YCS2NG3F5BbjeIssLth_EyW7YdcaTLBtp_HdP_Zqw0XFaIliVXGKd/s400/bballworld.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5592240029957132210" border="0" /></a><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">GIVE IT UP YOU FOOL! YOU'VE ALREADY LOST, THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO GAIN!</span>"<br />I tried to shout over the whir of the helicopter but to no avail. It was a damn shame that it had come to this but I'd smelled desperation on <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/09613600148332010455">Shuttlesworth</a> before and knew he was capable of anything in that state. Not just his mind but in Texas as well. I'd chased the bastard half way across the world trying to get Channing Frye back so he could finish off our weeks end match-up in style. Shuttlesworth thought if he could somehow prevent me from winning 3's, the rest would fall like dominoes. Thus a package was sent to Channing Fryes house, big enough to fit a man, a rag and a bottle of ether. Frye was suspicious but never knew what hit him. He told me later that he woke up in a basement with a large man telling him things could get nasty if he didn't call Alvin Gentry and say he was sick. He made the call and in a burst of heroism, managed to eek out a quick help before the butt of an M4 Carbine shut his lights off. I was asleep when Alvin called me:<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">There's a problem</span>".<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">Not to worry</span>", I told him, "<span style="font-weight: bold;">I've got 4 categories on lock and two of your boys are planning on giving me their best efforts this evening. I spoke to them both personally</span>".<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">It's not Vince, it's Channing</span>."<br /><br />I sat bolt upright and could feel the hopes and dreams of every child in the country rolling off my forehead like sweat.<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">I'll be there in twenty minutes.</span>"<br /><br />I was up 6-3 on Saturday night in the greatest Head to Head fantasy basketball finals the world had seen since Nat "Sweetwater" Clifton double-doubled against the St. Louis Hawks on Sunday to win my Dad a victory over his friend The Duke in 56'. I drove in silence and thought about all the great parties me and Channing had thrown over the years. Stopped at a red light, I made a quick call to Blackwater worldwide.<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">John? it's Fanarchy..... I know.......I know I said I would never do this but I need a favor.....</span>"<br /><br />Content with my contact, I arrived at the US Airways Center to find Alvin drunk, sitting on the front steps, whipping beer bottles into traffic and yelling incoherently about the impending lockout. He rambled on about Kemba Walker and how Steve Nash was threatening retirement along with Jason Kidd. I slapped him across the face, hard.<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">Get your shit together Gentry! You can't lose yer cool! Not at a time like this!</span>"<br /><br />With tears rolling down his cheeks, he told me about the phone call and the eventual ransom note that showed up in his office. It was pretty clear which direction this was headed in.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnqtJCXnQHcSK9aVUhIVdoKU8GOBg521aaB0ZMIlhtzdfimhA_JQOMETJajD0zZ9yACp2W99IUcEtmzl4KczZnCfJItoAynX8zVCWFPCCi9rKn2oWnmSRv_Ooqh5RMBySGrdUNySlcm6l5/s1600/ransom+note.jpeg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 307px; height: 309px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnqtJCXnQHcSK9aVUhIVdoKU8GOBg521aaB0ZMIlhtzdfimhA_JQOMETJajD0zZ9yACp2W99IUcEtmzl4KczZnCfJItoAynX8zVCWFPCCi9rKn2oWnmSRv_Ooqh5RMBySGrdUNySlcm6l5/s400/ransom+note.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5592225942750533298" border="0" /></a><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">Don't worry</span>" I told him for the second time that morning, "<span style="font-weight: bold;">I've got some help coming</span>."<br /><br />We could hear the chopper before we saw it. I didn't approve of the whole scandal in the middle east, but I didn't know who else to call. My season was on the line and I'd do anything to right the ship. As the flying demon landed, the turgical noon gun metal of the soldiers of fortune flashed in the sun. I wasn't much for firearms myself, but didn't shy away from the Ruger SR9 when the pilot thrust it into my hands. Alvin chose a slightly more aggressive looking MP5 and managed a few shots in the air before they realized he was drunk and more in need of good rest than a hostage negotiation. We flew him home and before he stepped off the bird he slapped me in the face, hard.<br /><br />"Bring my boy home, Fanarchy. Bring 'em home safe."<br /><br />Laughing, I promised him I would and we took off for Brazil, where I knew <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/09613600148332010455">Shuttlesworth</a> kept a small safe house. Somehow he'd been alerted to our arrival and had Channing bound and gagged in a wedding dress when we landed on his neighbors roof, no more than fifteen feet from where my opponent was holding a gun to Frye's back.<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">GIVE IT UP YOU FOOL! YOU'VE ALREADY LOST, THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO GAIN!</span>" I tried to shout over the whir of the helicopter but to no avail.<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">GET FUCKED! I'VE STILL GOT CALDERON AND WES MATTHEWS</span>!" he screamed as he fired a shot into the night sky<br /><br />He didn't realize that it was already over. Chauncey Billups had sealed my victory with a tidy line featuring efficiency and steals. Big Shot had also put 3's out of reach by going 3-7 from deep. I didn't know how to break it to him.<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">MATTHEWS HAS BEEN FADING SINCE LATE FEBRUARY AND CALDERON IS AN INJURED CUNT</span>" I said into the bullhorn. I tried to tell him a joke to let him down easy but an over eager sniper beat me to the punch line. The shot rang out over the jungle and Shuttlesworth crumpled to the ground.<br /><br />Screaming "<span style="font-weight: bold;">HOLD YOUR FIRE! HOLD YOUR FIRE GODDAMNIT!</span>" I shot a grappling hook at the satellite dish across the alley and retracted myself across the rooftops to the bound Channing Frye and the corpse of my former foe.<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">It didn't have to end like this old friend</span>" I said as I took the orange ball gag out of Channing's mouth.<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">FANARCHY! IT'S A TRAP!</span>" Fry screamed as the roof came out from under us. We fell four stories into the earth and then blackness. I awoke several hours later to the glow of a cigarette in the darkness. It smelled like dope but it could have been my clothes.<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">Well played, Well played</span>" <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/09613600148332010455">Shuttlesworth</a> mocked, accompanied by the slowest clap I'd ever heard. He pulled long and deep on whatever he was smoking.<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">What the fucking shit? You got shot! I saw that sniper shoot you in the fucking head! WHAT THE FUCK!?</span>"<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">A body double</span>" he said "<span style="font-weight: bold;">All the best bloggers have one. The government thinks I'm dead and blackwater took off as soon as they saw their paycheck drop though the rooftop</span>"<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">So now what?</span>" I asked<br /><br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">Easy</span>" he said "<span style="font-weight: bold;">We stay here until the heat dies down, then transfer the </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://fantasybasketbear.blogspot.com/">bear</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> to a Swiss bank account. We take one of those </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.interestingtopics.net/storage/picture59.jpg">bicycle powered submarines</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> to Europe and live like kings while the US Government pays us to blog about fantasy basketball.</span>"<br /><br />The lights flicked on and I could see he wasn't alone. <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/10374428190863447483">Crash</a>, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16197105520961828889">Bird Dog</a> and <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/03791421815407532120">George Orwell</a> were all right behind him, eagerly hoping I would agree. I got up, dusted my pants off and could only laugh as Crash handed me a beer. We got good and drunk that night. Also pick up Matt Bonner.Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-82044197909357054162011-03-31T09:06:00.010-05:002011-04-01T11:17:47.111-05:00Facts and Fables, Part 3X<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr-4aViVhElIDVCf-Ydd2HrW4PGGTyVASg5wR5gnfBJ3aTYCxB7J7joUNcgmZbyzp0LEj_BJ8YEpp8STbFz6pQyOooLNnHTt6VOkHyhM57LptIGvEtm52r7f9sJJA2LdaGBXUk6Thy5Y/s1600/Mrs._Perry_with_Stephen_Jackson__thumb.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 391px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr-4aViVhElIDVCf-Ydd2HrW4PGGTyVASg5wR5gnfBJ3aTYCxB7J7joUNcgmZbyzp0LEj_BJ8YEpp8STbFz6pQyOooLNnHTt6VOkHyhM57LptIGvEtm52r7f9sJJA2LdaGBXUk6Thy5Y/s400/Mrs._Perry_with_Stephen_Jackson__thumb.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5590246246837101394" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fact: Acquiring Stephen Jackson is a Kiss of Death<br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><span>I knew this, but it didn't stop me.. George Orwell played me like a game of go fish, his exact words: "S-Jax is gunna go off with Crash gone". In a state of <a href="http://simmerdown3.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/stevie-wonder.jpg">blinding</a> competitiveness I fell for the line. It was as if I was some buxom 18 year old blond who had aspirations of a modeling career, and when I arrived at my first amateur photo shoot I soon realized that the <a href="http://sgv17.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/imogen-cunninghan.jpg?w=202&h=240">photographer</a> wasn't shooting models; he was shooting a BJ contest.<br />S-Jax has ranked 279 over the last month and will likely shut it down with a <a href="http://a.abcnews.com/images/Entertainment/ht_charlie_sheen_rehab_dm_2_110204_main.jpg">tweaked</a> <a href="http://drawntogether.edogo.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/drawn-together-spanking-spanky.png">hammy</a>. Get well soon Capt'n Jack, in the meantime keep your game sharp by turning that woman over and jacking shots everywhere.</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />Fable: Jordan Crawford is a One Hit (Dunk?) Wonder<br /></span></span><span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />You know the name because he <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9y1cs_jordan-crawford-dunks-on-lebron-jam_sport">crowned the king</a>, but ever since Jo-Craw started playing <a href="http://rambodoc.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/leg-obese.jpg">heavy</a> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span style="font-size:85%;">minutes he's been ballin out. He dropped 39 on Miami Wednesday and is taking 20 shots a game as a starter, because you sure as fuck don't want </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://sportifi.com/news/Video-JaVale-tells-Bosh-and-Wade-to-sit-down-1447799.html">JaVale McGee</a> touching the ball on O (although JaV-McG should be given credit for the raging trend of randomly tossing capital letters into the spelling of people's names). CraWfoRd is about as efficient as a Gatling gun but somebody's gotta put in work besides JoHn, and if anyone were to acknowledge that Yi JianLiaN was starting for the Wiz, BaraCk ObaMa would have to adopt a litter of puppies and skin them alive inside a <a href="http://dianepernet.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/10/29/gaphitler.jpg">Gap</a><a href="http://www.lilith-ezine.com/articles/fashion/GAP-Sweatshops.html">For Kids</a> just to make Washingtonians slightly less depressed.<br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" ><br />Fact: Anthony Randolph is Still Fuckin With The Bear<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;">Tony Dolph's flirtation with The Bear has been well documented on TMZ and in People's magazine, go back in time and peep our <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_UeQ_4JcrqkE/Sn65BiZBMKI/AAAAAAAAAkc/odKTMwRg3pw/s400/45214_Avril_Lavigne_-_Maxim_March_2.jpg">April </a>posts of last year. With <a href="http://www.google.ca/search?q=avril+lavigne+naked&hl=en&biw=1024&bih=560&source=lnms&ei=RGCVTZmyMYKztweOxuCBDA&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=1&ved=0CCcQ_AUoAA#sclient=psy&hl=en&biw=1024&bih=560&source=hp&q=kevin+love+naked&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&pbx=1&fp=cc8e06da34e9bc37">M'cLovin</a> out for a few games Randy Dolphin made some rare starts,</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;">and after a set of back to backs where he totaled 55pts and 26rebs (plus 6blk/stls and shiny %s) <a href="http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/tdomf/128762/fear%20and%20loathing%20in%20sesame%20street.jpg">Fanarchy's mind</a> was so absolutely blown he decided to start the skinny German bastard against me in our head 2 head <a href="http://vodpod.com/watch/146204-nas-dmx-grand-finale">grand finale.</a> Shit son, we're tied. Get fucked by a pineapple Bo-Bandy!<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >Fable: Kyle Lowry is a Nice Sleeper For Next Year<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;">Do not sleep on him! Dude destroyed Aaron Brooks' career in H-town and is a top 50 player this season, top 5 in the last month, <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/players/4152/gamelog;_ylt=Au4xNAleQQkGZXp3SA49gEFqPaB4">just look! </a>I doubt you drafted him, I guarantee you he won't<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qK-IwXkrT4"> slip</a></span> a<span style="font-size:85%;">gain because Kyle Lowry has</span> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ghgg_fukbvU"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://dumpalink.com/videos/Forget-karate-kid-meet-karate-bear.html">Bear-like skills.</a></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span>Shuttlesworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09613600148332010455noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-55914730918022870212011-03-28T14:49:00.012-05:002011-03-28T15:59:21.739-05:00Fantasy Basketball: Drinking at Sea<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcV2zR-xYlW21ptwrz1FnBbiVSJsRiuViVDaryx60fLSIHkBWjIN5gAdbVyHTx9YMPLFruByZ0WaM2o_Ncl2eGurgDG7D4iLSbZk15GPAB8tsem_3KrGwDJ2n1aVvIkYSvKu3F2T23aWWc/s1600/moneyball.jpeg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcV2zR-xYlW21ptwrz1FnBbiVSJsRiuViVDaryx60fLSIHkBWjIN5gAdbVyHTx9YMPLFruByZ0WaM2o_Ncl2eGurgDG7D4iLSbZk15GPAB8tsem_3KrGwDJ2n1aVvIkYSvKu3F2T23aWWc/s400/moneyball.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5589237370645235346" border="0" /></a><br />The sun was blinding. As soon as I stepped off the plane I couldn't see shit. How long had we been in the air for? 5? 6 hours? After Serge Ibaka had secured the win for me by blocking two shots in the fourth quarter against a slow as shit Portland team, Sunday night had turned into a carnival of hookers, cocaine and armed robbery that was winding down some 36 hours later when the pilot I had hired was falling asleep at thirty thousand feet.<br />"<span style="font-weight: bold;">We need to land this damn plane or </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/09613600148332010455">Shuttlesworth</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> is gonna drink my blood in the Finals!</span>" I screamed, holding the pilots unconscious head up so he wouldn't swallow his own tongue. <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/10374428190863447483">Crash</a> and the newly fantasy relevant Carl Landry were slamming shots of Patron in the planes bathroom when I barged in like an animal. "<span style="font-weight: bold;">Get fucking Keith Smart on phone! We're gonna have to land this flying whore show ourselves</span>."<br />Keith was hesitant and the Warriors were by no means a lock against John Wall. He got distracted when Javale McGee was verging on his new career high of 28 points, but Monta Ellis was able to take over near the end, allowing Smart enough of a breather to talk us through a difficult landing just inside the Las Vegas state line. The sun was blinding. As soon as I stepped off the plane I knew we needed to bury or burn the evidence of the night before and Carl Landry was no exception. We flagged down the first trucker we saw and some old boy named Large George gave us a ride in the trailer. He dropped us off at the Bellagio and thanked us for our discretion when it came to the 150 pounds of northern lights we'd ridden in the back with. He gave us a small back pack full and we never saw him again. I turned to Carl Landry: "<span style="font-size:100%;">Thanks for everything Carl; the safe code numbers, the Berlin contacts, the way your filling in for David West. It means a lot to our <a href="http://fantasybasketbear.com/">organization</a> and if it were up to me, I'd bring you with us but you know as well as I do that we'd drown in red tape and that's how those bastards getcha.</span>" He shed a single tear as me and Crash jumped in the first limo we saw, demanding to be taken to a high stakes betting parlor, stuffing handfuls of bills into the confused drivers coat pockets. I'd secured a spot in the H2H finals but the night wasn't over yet, not if I was gonna finish on top.<br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span><a href="http://fantasybasketbear.com/"></a>Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-86730544899782759962011-03-24T18:00:00.001-05:002011-03-24T18:00:45.898-05:00Jon Brockman Trick Shot Video<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/u0WV6NeZVX8" frameborder="0"></iframe>Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-81071552920446669202011-03-24T17:55:00.002-05:002011-03-24T17:55:59.999-05:00Blake Griffin Tech Dunk<iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/mlL_bvL0hts" frameborder="0" height="390" width="640"></iframe>Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-49128125011262323482011-03-21T15:28:00.007-05:002011-03-21T16:23:39.046-05:00Late Night Fantasy Basketball<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheawMAUGCmynadqva1TC7ZGDsVsxtKTeWHC53UAixaF4Ww12lrW8SIKp7kx2oW535QOBwijigBa3w7u4sDMd-aexl6ExnFhDA1Qjui-n6KrY_NEEz8wr7MHy_3OsSz3l5GkPLXhQFTjl_1/s1600/detective.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 326px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheawMAUGCmynadqva1TC7ZGDsVsxtKTeWHC53UAixaF4Ww12lrW8SIKp7kx2oW535QOBwijigBa3w7u4sDMd-aexl6ExnFhDA1Qjui-n6KrY_NEEz8wr7MHy_3OsSz3l5GkPLXhQFTjl_1/s400/detective.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586640572936663570" border="0" /></a><br />I looked in the freezer for ice. Nothing. Scotch, no rocks then. I felt a drunken confidence about my team I'd not felt since I told myself Brandon Jennings was a "steal" in the fifth round on draft day. I'd gone into the playoffs second overall and managed to squeak thru the first round 5-4 on all the small ball cats. A couple nervous moments when I was down 6-3 on Saturday night, but Sunday games from a few of my key guards smoothed things over and put me into next week against a tough 6th place team that had somehow started Tyreke Evens, even though he wasn't due back until late March. It was a good feeling. I had money riding on this one. The kind of money you don't want to lose or very bad men would come looking for it. Money I didn't have. I made a few calls just in case, first to my opponent, then to Carlos Boozer and the rest of his starting forwards. "Hello Carlos....It's not important who this is.....Don't steal any minutes from Taj Gibson this week or things could get very ugly for Tom Thibodeau in the coach of the year race!"<br />I hung up satisfied and poured myself another warm scotch, reflecting on the nausea I felt from being forced to start Ron Artest for another god damn week. He'd do for now. My whole team would. But it was unacceptable against the powerhouse number one ranked team I would meet in the finals. A team that had sleepwalked through the season and won the first round 8-1 like it was carrying in the groceries for dinner. No, I'd need to take drastic measures if this season was gonna climax into a championship, need to do something rash. I took a drink and made another call, this one all the way to the White House....Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-55925938941217245282011-03-19T15:54:00.002-05:002011-03-19T16:11:48.838-05:00Toney Douglas : 3pt Reciprocal<a href="http://www.nba.com/media/knicks/douglassintroin.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://www.nba.com/media/knicks/douglassintroin.jpg" /></a> Nice Work <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/players/4634/gamelog;_ylt=AtdhWIpr4.l9c3pbco76hk2kvLYF">Toney</a>! D'antoni promised him big minutes even in the wake of Mr <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh85Oai4qrseh0V3mUN44-CpFOaiMM95Mjm1SfKsq8YWy1UlVX0FZ8KJPyvGVs_Em06qBX1RrEOqct6HKsKD0zeeaZPu7p3Aa7bSf94KuyjhVkC_z4NbjS_8_1NTYTxOXPREEBKvjFel4/s1600/chauncey-billups+mr+big+shot.jpg">Big Shot's</a> return, and everyone knows D'antoni loves fantasy, and is looking out for GM's everywhere. Toney's been seeing an average of <em>30 min</em> this March, even off the bench (although he did start 6 games earlier this month, and 4 of those were W's). <em>17 trey balls</em> in the last 3 games (including a staggering <em>9/12</em> from deep against Memphis on March 17th), and a total of <em>35</em> in March alone, all on <em>48% </em>shooting. I'd label him a <a href="http://www.stle.org/UserFiles/Image/CLS%20logo%202%20inch%20copy.JPG">specialist</a> if he wasn't also beefing up your other <a href="http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/190462_10150427568245541_578110540_17665575_6537603_n.jpg">cats</a> with almost<em> 6 apg</em> as well as a handful of rebounds. We've seen alot of random upstarts jacking 3's for the fantasy heavy Knicks this year but Toney has remained the most consistent, so maybe I should have posted this before the default trade deadline in most leagues, cause he's probably not on the waiver.... Damn.Crashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374428190863447483noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-49312687969460036462011-03-16T22:15:00.006-05:002011-03-18T10:37:54.915-05:00Facts and Fables, Part 1A<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU9n_QvA7vP9ltqwr8Glj9f1ZtSMaAK10JRJ-eCOGzngf8bCFoDP774x2BAtMmLybgjtJZwgK4wJcZaDvwx163T9XBB9NmlDYs0LHOmeEAfXFvjjE3UETL2hGOLiN2Btnbi8V8IIeOH8w/s1600/wall-blake.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU9n_QvA7vP9ltqwr8Glj9f1ZtSMaAK10JRJ-eCOGzngf8bCFoDP774x2BAtMmLybgjtJZwgK4wJcZaDvwx163T9XBB9NmlDYs0LHOmeEAfXFvjjE3UETL2hGOLiN2Btnbi8V8IIeOH8w/s400/wall-blake.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5584884988898833346" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Fable: Reality is perception.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />Not in fantasy land it isn't</span><span style="font-size:100%;">; case and point #32 for the Clips and #2 for the Wiz. The <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xoh8j_monty-python-dead-parrot-sketch_family">parrot</a> at my Granny's old folks home could tell you Blake and John (who are both on a first name basis with the Bear) are epic freak athletes who are going to run shit in the NBA long after David Stern's corpse is found in a dumpster behind 7-Eleven. That's the reality. The perception is that John and Blake are fantasy beasts as well. <a href="http://www.bypassfacebookfanpages.com/fanpageimages/whatladygagaactuallylookslikenotgoodatall-1004-7806-bypass-facebook-fan-pages.jpg">WRONG!</a> </span>Johnny<span style="font-weight: bold;">'</span>s season average ranks just in front of<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>Miami's Mario and Mike, and right behind Tony Douglas and Daniel Gibson<span style="font-weight: bold;">. </span>Nobody wants to be behind Tony Douglas, <a href="http://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/329098880/rogermason_2046.jpg">Roger Mason clearly hates his life</a>.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>Same ish for Blake. Grant Hill, Tard Lewis and Thaddeus Young (althought they are 3s with PF eligibility) all rank higher than <a href="http://www.thealmightyguru.com/Reviews/HarryPotter/Images/Harry13.jpg">Gryffindor<span style="font-weight: bold;">. </span></a>If anyone actually drafted Chuck Hayes ahead of Blake, as the rankings would suggest you should have, I will get on my knees and <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje_hduiVRy7qC9DWw1sDpUVbZ3GYHsJX1WZhJ7cLcXJsnFZiFzAgYp49_5_FxfOms_ub4uZ05SEDaRq4S3Jcy6Lv2p59nxGPVF_tbHXl9v1t3ZT9m1TX1GdZTef6_gTAZQGRdXVIULhU4/s1600/AN_Gianna_Michaels_1.jpg">**** your ****</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fact: Triple doubles > wins in Washington.<br /><br /></span>First <a href="http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2010/04/andray_blatches_triple_double.html">Andray tried</a>, then<a href="http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Video-JaVale-McGee-gets-first-triple-double-em?urn=nba-334203"> Javale succeeded</a>. Ja-raff was so overjoyed about his numbers he got a T for his victory pull-up, although the Wiz weren't victorious. Blatche's near t-dub gave the <a href="http://beats4thoughts.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/wiz_khalifa-480x319.jpg">Wiz</a> a <a href="http://www.bork-billedkunstner.dk/billeder/andre/musk_ox_meat.jpg">rare</a> W, to his great <a href="http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=43252">despair</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fable: I will not buy into Marcus Thornton next year after he fantasy-fucked so many nice people in 10/11.<br /><br /></span>The guy just needs minutes. Fuck his individual defense or lack thereof, that's why you have <a href="http://www.nbarock.org/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/cff29_samuel_dalembert_ronald_mcdonald.jpg">Sammy D</a> on the block. His numbers in March: 39min 23-3-3-2-2 on close to 50%fg and 80%ft. What the crap?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fact:I love Chuck Hayes, I'm not just saying that because I'm drunk.<br /><br /></span>Chuckwagon<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span>is a 6'6 center who D's up hard in reality, and is constantly making me smile in fantasy. Apparently I'm not the only one who feels that way, this <a href="http://l.yimg.com/a/i/us/sp/cn/headshots/matt_smiling3.jpg">demented crackpot</a> put "The Wagon" on his top 50 bubble while the likes of Marc Gasol and Andrew Bogut dropped out of favor. 30pts 26rebs 8dimes 7stl/blk for Chucky in his last 2. <span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fact or Fable toss-up:<br /><br /></span>-If <a href="http://www.collateralmurder.org/">Julain Assange</a> gets booked in Sweden, the Bear may become more politically conscious.<br />-One month would be enough time before the Bear begins to make Japanese nuclear references.Shuttlesworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09613600148332010455noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-88456337600731071812011-03-16T17:34:00.003-05:002011-03-16T17:38:39.326-05:00Javale McGee: 12 Blocks<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuTjmt09nCMtpFuzPvImeqUKuFrpY2pkxMh3w9t2QAp_M8kZZFn2yS03QVzb1b7eoTgsyIVfa2w-cv7k1JvD_uZBsepiJIgR7iZNXEHT9gjhWW9DbMPLb__z9QnGD_iNNKeRtL0cTRRS2H/s1600/javale+mcgee+hipster.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuTjmt09nCMtpFuzPvImeqUKuFrpY2pkxMh3w9t2QAp_M8kZZFn2yS03QVzb1b7eoTgsyIVfa2w-cv7k1JvD_uZBsepiJIgR7iZNXEHT9gjhWW9DbMPLb__z9QnGD_iNNKeRtL0cTRRS2H/s400/javale+mcgee+hipster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5584810538182865858" border="0" /></a><br />Too Lazy, Go <a href="http://stacheketball.neswblogs.com/2011/03/video-javale-mcgee-really-wanted-that-triple-double/">Here</a>.Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-48699309196049017692011-03-14T15:30:00.003-05:002011-03-16T17:48:23.912-05:00Nice Work, Jodie Meeks!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i43.tinypic.com/2vt5rg5.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 319px; height: 450px;" src="http://i43.tinypic.com/2vt5rg5.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Fucking Killing it in March! In 6 games Meeks is doing 13 points, 1.3 steals and 2.6 threes a game. Just in time for playoffs too. A measly 18% ownership in yahoo leagues means he's probably available in your house as well. Go get him!Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-34417975037786759762011-03-08T16:39:00.003-06:002011-03-08T18:26:42.496-06:00Fantasy Hype Machine: PF changes in the Fantasy Basketball Landscape<a href="http://a323.yahoofs.com/ymg/ept_sports_nba_experts__34/ept_sports_nba_experts-632240659-1254317863.jpg?ymnMP.BDnu6gHo3c"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 600px; height: 360px;" src="http://a323.yahoofs.com/ymg/ept_sports_nba_experts__34/ept_sports_nba_experts-632240659-1254317863.jpg?ymnMP.BDnu6gHo3c" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Listen to the first cuts of this album about </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://fantasybasketbear.blogspot.com/2010/12/fantasy-hype-machine-pg-changes-in-this.html">Point Guards,</a><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://fantasybasketbear.blogspot.com/2011/01/fantasy-hype-machine-sg-changes-in.html">Shooting Guards</a><span style="font-style: italic;"> and </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://fantasybasketbear.blogspot.com/2011/01/fantasy-hype-machine-sf-changes-in.html">Small Forwards</a><span style="font-style: italic;">.</span><br /><br />To call the bear a fantasy basketball engineer is like calling myself an environmental technician even though I mow my lawn with gasoline. I care about the environment (my porch is a raccoon drop-in center with all you can eat garbage), and have somehow 'engineered' my way to a top spot in two of my four leagues. I credit this to getting off food and concentrating on the booze for a while. It gives me laser like focus and intensity. I wake up in interesting places and the Bear always calls me back. Enough about my life goals, let's have a look at some stunner Power Forwards who have slipped their finger into the butthole of roster-ability, big time:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Kevin Love</span>: 3's, Rebounds<br />And How! Danny KLOVEr has been a man possessed this season (possessed to play amazing so he can leave Minnesota, see: Al Jefferson). He scores the ball in the post, has <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdIpjM5bnlg">range for days,</a> presenting match up problems for a good chunk of the leagues 4's, and hasn't missed a double-double since November 22nd. That's about 250 straight games by my count. He's also got seven 30/15 games to his name, some of those being 30/20's and a 30/30. Your probably thinking: "Holy shit! Kevin Love is playing well this year? That's amazing fucking news!" What you didn't know is that he's stepping in as the new King of all Kings in Egypt once Mubarak is assassinated and I'm currently in the process of <a href="http://www.google.ca/search?q=buying+Kevin+Love+semen+on+e-bay&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a#sclient=psy&hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&hs=IZ9&rls=org.mozilla:en-US%3Aofficial&q=How+to+buy+Kevin+Love+semen+on+ebay&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&pbx=1&fp=890816c3b2cfa874">buying his semen off e-bay</a> so I can spike the local water supply and surround my self with hyper-rebounding ultra men that can dazzle my fans with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GFGPqdpEAk">trick shots</a> when I grow weary of signing autographs.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Al Horford</span></span>: Efficiency,<br />Another man child who has played himself into a possible first round selection next year with his uber-efficient all-round game (Hello Alf Horf, Goodbye Brook Lopez). Al's game has been pretty steady ever since his rookie year. His blocks won't anchor you but they help (1.1/game). His rebounds have been sticking around 10 per game since year one and he doesn't turn the ball over a whole lot. FG% and FT% are really what kicked the <a href="http://www.astraybuffet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/the-hoff.jpg">Horfs</a> game into high gear this season as he's doing career highs in both. 56% on 12 shots is good stuff and while his 82% on 2.5 free throw attempts per game don't wow you, they don't hurt either, which about all you can ask from some center eligible types these days.<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lamarcus Aldridge</span></span>: Stud<br />Where in next years draft has Lamarcus Aldridge played himself into? Top 10? Just after Pau? Nah, too soon. Aldridge has been scoring the shit outta the ball as the primary focus of the Blazers offense with Brandon Roy out and has kept his defense stout with 2.3 combines steals and blocks. Post-3rd-year-hype-breakout-2nd-round-sleeper? Sounds about right.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Amir Johnson</span>: Neighbor to a Friend<br />'Feisty' Johnson as his teammates all him, is having on of those "efficient" fantasy seasons you keep hearing about on other <a href="http://fantasybasketbear.blogspot.com/">blogs</a>. He doesn't turn it over much and shoots a ridiculously high percentage because he has taken three shots outside the paint all season. While his <a href="http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/j/johnsam01.html">per-36s</a> don't quite measure up to his explosive Detroit years, no one is mad because blocking 400+ shots a season just does not happen anymore. 10/7 with 1.5 blocks aren't the stuff dreams are made of, but for a guy that doesn't hurt you anywhere and was an afterthought in most drafts, he's paying off nicely.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kris Humphries</span></span>: Dipping is pen in the kompany ink<br />What the <a href="http://www.hollywoodbackwash.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/kim-k-pepsi.jpg">fuck</a>? Where did Humph come from this<a href="http://stupidcelebrities.net/wp-content/kim-kardashian-bikini-1.jpg"> year</a>? He's averaging 11 off the glass as a starter and making Brook Lopez <a href="http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2009/04/kim-kardashian-sunburned.jpg">his bitch</a> when it comes to boards. He's another inside presence, like Amir, so he shoots a great <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDPsRWg63dvRUigwL11yfQiUTEP1IMvuAmM7BzgSAWeQuul-Hwo2xj6nUlJ_x0bMiK3VPqcuir08YqM6bdHsKEusF8kGEu3V8AHRxKouoPJ4yq0pDsnVV-Zz9LoUiN9m8FEQFAohsb-Qs/s1600/kim_kardashian_207_full.jpg">percentile</a>, doesn't turn it over and doesn't hurt you at the <a href="http://newsfuze.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/kim-kardashian-Highest-paid-05.jpg">line</a>. I get the feeling that he's not a long term piece of the <a href="http://www.getjanet.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/KimKgallery_enlarged-kim-kardashian-nude-magazine-01-499x645.jpg">puzzle</a> in NJ though. Not russian <a href="http://static.igossip.com/photos_2/december_2010/post_image_kim_kardashian_kris_humphries.jpg">enough</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Blake Griffin</span></span>: Awesomist<br />Who doesn't love Blake this year? You? Then fuck you! I don't like you! Blake is dominating and<br />the Clippers future is somehow looking bright. He's doesn't rack up a lot of defensive stats and his free throw shooting is starting to become a negative, but fuck that shit. I want Blakey on my team next year and not even Shuttlesworth can stop me.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii8x5rNybfRCgd1NdmJEK9u-orEf-CfROL83b_tcAXQbbkTJRhzM3nMhfqkQmWknhe92H9hGZAmYO865HGICpYm2JzF44b2mx9AmDeLwqJbzynpy17uOZacgN1bWwUTtiyUyNH8RIL5Npo/s1600/Blake-Griffin-Y-u-no-play-fantasy-defense.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 360px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii8x5rNybfRCgd1NdmJEK9u-orEf-CfROL83b_tcAXQbbkTJRhzM3nMhfqkQmWknhe92H9hGZAmYO865HGICpYm2JzF44b2mx9AmDeLwqJbzynpy17uOZacgN1bWwUTtiyUyNH8RIL5Npo/s400/Blake-Griffin-Y-u-no-play-fantasy-defense.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581841243193067442" border="0" /></a>Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-73984296225435600702011-03-07T14:01:00.002-06:002011-03-07T15:02:26.307-06:00WTF MANU???<a href="http://www.alldesktopentertainment.com/download/jessica-alba/jessica-alba-1.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 408px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 500px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://www.alldesktopentertainment.com/download/jessica-alba/jessica-alba-1.jpg" /></a> <em>Sunday March 6th, 2011</em><br /><div><strong></strong></div><br /><div><strong>Spurs Vs Lakers</strong></div><div>Naahh it's cool Manu, Time Duncan was basically just as bad. Combined <em>4/17 fg%</em> and a total of<em> 8 pts, </em>in a combined <em>46 minutes</em>. Disappointing, and who the fuck is <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/players/4796/news;_ylt=AjakZDO.aEgW6SvHxCtoieWkvLYF">Gary Neal</a>? </div><br /><div></div><div><strong>Chicago Vs 'A combined 69pts from the Big 3'</strong></div><div>They shot a staggering 51 attempts from the field and 18 free throws combined, beasted heavy for lines like D-Wade's <em>20pts, 4rebs, 5ast, <a href="http://jamesmarks.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/wrestling-epic-fail1.jpg">7to's!!!!!, </a></em>Bron Bron's <em>26pts, 8rebs, 6ast, 2stl</em>, and CB4's <em>23pts, 5rebs, 1stl, 1blk, </em>but still couldn't come up with the win. That's 4 straight losses for the Heat, and 4 steps closer to Erik Spoelstra losing his job. Who knows, maybe it's not his fault, maybe it's cause D-Wade can't throw his keys to a valet driver without someone else catching them. </div><br /><div></div><div><strong>Golden State Vs Philly</strong></div><div>Iggy triple dubbed (I said it... Iggy), a quietly efficient <em>15-10-11</em>, while Jrue Holiday almost did the same (<em>16-8-7</em>), with <em>6 steals</em> between the 2 of them. I didn't see the game personally, but can anyone clarify if all 6 of those thefts occurred from Monta Ellis' possession? Also, props to Thaddeus Young for putting up a solid line and closing the book in my favor (last minute) in another nail biting head 2 head weekly battle. Thadd had <em>20-7 with a block and 2 steals</em>. Nice.</div><br /><div></div><div><strong>Knicks Vs Hawks</strong></div><div><a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/players/4634/gamelog;_ylt=AoSY5Xxw4wApoNaKabYuWcmkvLYF">Toney Douglas</a> as a starter, I like it. Serious <a href="http://www.topnews.in/sports/files/Streaker.jpg">streaker</a>, but D'Antoni is a believer, and Tone-Tone has rewarded D'Antoni's faith with 22 trey-balls since Feb 1st. Atlanta had a relatively uneventful day for fantasy ball on Sunday, not a single player reached the 20pt pinnacle, a seemingly reoccurring trend for the Hawks lately. </div><br /><div></div><div><strong>New Orleans Vs Cleveland</strong></div><div>I thought <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/players/4757/gamelog;_ylt=AoSY5Xxw4wApoNaKabYuWcmkvLYF">this dude's</a> last name was 'Poindexter' at first glance. Pretty fucking close!</div><br /><div></div><div><strong>OKC Vs The Suns</strong></div><div><a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/players/3983/gamelog;_ylt=AoSY5Xxw4wApoNaKabYuWck.PaB4">Gortat</a> is a beast! I've heard people drop his name as a potential Keeper going into next year now that he's in Arizona. Split stats reveal his numbers almost doubling since January, currently averaging 8 more pts per game than he did in December. <a href="http://funislife.info/pictures/Celebrities/1577_britneyhomer.jpg">Dead fucking serious </a>about Polish people man. </div><br /><div></div><div>Side note to this game: what happened Durant? Sure, sure, <em>11/12</em> from the line is tight, but <em>3/14</em> from the field in <em>44min</em> of play? It was overtime for fucks sake! Thank god for Nick Collison (j/k). </div><br /><div></div><div><strong>Memphis Vs Dallas</strong></div><div>Shane Battier put up a double-double, gobbling up 11-11. Unfortunately that meant Zach Randolph was only able to accumulate 9 boards (to go along with <em>27pts and 4 steals</em>), which in turn halted an on again - off again double double streak he has going. Can Zach deal with this? Does Shane know who he's dealing with? Does <a href="http://floppingout.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/EddyCurryBigMac.bmp">Eddy Curry</a> miss Zach Randolph's company?</div><br /><div></div><div><strong>Boston Vs The Bucks</strong></div><div><a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/players/3622/gamelog;_ylt=AoSY5Xxw4wApoNaKabYuWcmkvLYF">Krstic</a> put together the best of his last 4 games (all including double digit scoring and low TO's), scoring <em>17pts</em> on <em>87.5% fg</em> and <em>75% ft</em>, effectively clearing the way for Jermaine O'Neal to retire... or fuck off... however you see it. </div>Crashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374428190863447483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-26646862753121709482011-03-05T13:01:00.005-06:002011-03-05T14:15:49.256-06:00FEAR THE GINGER! RESPECT THE HOAGIE!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0kE0cgaU0krOBlvv-ASc7tHo1kQlkMJRmBTdHewwlQoLloxOm9Ba-DMdEeOa1ibau9buv45dWYrRx_kW3yhYoj8V9t9BtKdie2Gc0jjdq27kB6ytQaT1yaavwerdFiO1U7D2qCrBf6P8/s1600/bonner+ddp.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0kE0cgaU0krOBlvv-ASc7tHo1kQlkMJRmBTdHewwlQoLloxOm9Ba-DMdEeOa1ibau9buv45dWYrRx_kW3yhYoj8V9t9BtKdie2Gc0jjdq27kB6ytQaT1yaavwerdFiO1U7D2qCrBf6P8/s400/bonner+ddp.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5580674700366818978" border="0" /></a>Matty Bones aka The Red Rocket aka <a href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/28/36263591_3f98b7573d.jpg">King Ginger Jesus</a> aka Orange Rain is demanding your damned respect! Is fantasy b-ball still relevant to you? Yes? Nice, congrats. Now then, might you be in need of 3's without compromising efficiency? Well then, talk about a match <a href="http://static.poponthepop.com/images/gallery/charlie-sheen-smile.jpg">made in heaven</a>. MB15 is to you like what a ChuckECheese parking lot is to a pedophile: BONANZA! Peep the line from last night: 24min, 18pts, 5rebs, 6/7fg, 6/7tres! <a href="http://www.eurweb.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/diddy_in_kilt2010-lrg.jpg">Like whoa</a>, talk about a specialist. Str8-Bone'n has more 3s this season than Mamba and Ben Gordon (who fuckin sucks) while appearing in 17 less games and playing far less minutes. My advice to you, Diamond Dallas Page, is to <a href="http://www.nba.com/spurs/features/sandwich_hunter.html">get your sandwich on</a>. My advice to all you Bear-believers is to check the wire ASAP for this <a href="http://images2.memegenerator.net/ImageMacro/4346399/since-being-a-ginger-is-a-mutation-they-why-arent-more-X-men-soulless-redheads.jpg?imageSize=Large&generatorName=Philosoraptor">soulless</a> assassin b4 he rains one-handed jimmys on your family and <a href="http://www.vidivodo.com/410985/watts-fuck-shit-stack-hq">fucks your shit stack</a>.<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Shuttlesworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09613600148332010455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-30554003161800198102011-03-02T13:39:00.002-06:002011-03-02T13:48:08.761-06:00Nice Work, Dwight Howard!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.slamonline.com/online/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/dwight_howard_lil_dwight.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 640px; height: 430px;" src="http://www.slamonline.com/online/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/dwight_howard_lil_dwight.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Post all-star Dwighty is killing it! In Fact, 2011 Dwight is also killing it! In his last 9 games, he's been swatting 3 shots per and shooting a week-after-week winning 67% from the floor! Holy exclamation points!Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-40730706320240699742011-02-27T14:19:00.002-06:002011-02-27T14:50:00.790-06:00Chase-ing your Fantasy DreamsThe <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/players/4649/news;_ylt=AkZz5Z2sHtiWOoXeWhw1ZDakvLYF">Chase</a> is on people!<img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 451px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 281px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/gallery_images/photos/000/680/718/GYI0062972258_crop_450x500.jpg?1294469234" /><strong>Shane Battier -</strong> <em>"Good luck in the starter spot!"</em><br /><br /><div><em></em></div><div><strong>Chase Budinger - </strong><em><strong>"</strong>I blend in with purgatory." </em></div><br /><div><em></em></div><div><a href="http://www.bomeiquan.cn/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Chase-Budinger.jpg">Freak-like</a> in appearance (just kidding, he's not that awkward really), this albino terror is squeezing every last drop of fantasy relevance from the heavy minutes he's been seeing as of late (the last 2 games specifically). Coming off the bench for just shy of <em>30 min</em> against Cleveland Feb 23rd, the Dinger went <em>9-18</em> from the field, and <em>4-8</em> from deep, totalling a blindingly white <em>30pts</em> and <em>8rebs</em>. Then <a href="http://www.basketballwallpapers.tk/images/wallpapers/Chase+Budinger.jpg">Saturday night</a> against Deron Williams' highly efficient <em>15-17</em> and the Nets, the damage done by Chase totalled <em>27-6-2</em>, <em>8/11 fg%</em> and <em>3/4</em> trey ptm, on <em>33 min of play</em>. </div><br /><div></div><div>In a year and a half of NBA experience, (not only has he probably grown a <a href="http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20060327/images/sp_budinger.jpg">foot in height</a>) the Dingbat's numbers have proven solidity when offered court time. He's unafraid to shoot the ball, he's white as a fucking snowstorm, and it shows as the play-time increases. In the 26 professional games he's played where he's seen 25+ min, his fg sits at 51% on average of 15pts per game. And now guess what.... Chase (the Jordy Craddock of the NBA) is starting from here on in. And he's expected to thrive as a deep threat specialist. Mark me down.</div>Crashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374428190863447483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-74151831615706029472011-02-26T11:17:00.004-06:002011-02-26T11:43:06.282-06:00Mario Chalmers in Heat<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguaUO7wwZO3H0nEPHsDppG0jp0OTypM97Y2baUQhIylv114EwCOFu2ON9qzpgLuO3X4pRZK4OYC38IFfaB_E-Cj3J4MfqAf4Axui0um2prGwIbvmTxNp662mQRkPcmq9L1MBIyVyhJAJVb/s1600/fire_mario.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 306px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguaUO7wwZO3H0nEPHsDppG0jp0OTypM97Y2baUQhIylv114EwCOFu2ON9qzpgLuO3X4pRZK4OYC38IFfaB_E-Cj3J4MfqAf4Axui0um2prGwIbvmTxNp662mQRkPcmq9L1MBIyVyhJAJVb/s400/fire_mario.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578051952816977186" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">...and looking to mate.</span></span><br /><br />Mario Chalmers has strung 3 straight double digit point efforts together recently, accompanied by all the 3's and steals that managers came to love in his rookie year and could be the new face of weekly waiver wire pick up articles across the webs if he can maintain some shadow of consistency. No one expected Super Mario to do much this year in the 3 kings offense. It was last year that he was supposed to build on the momentum of a promising rookie campaign, when he was a solid contributor with averages of 1.4 three's, 2 steals 32 minutes and 4.9 assists. To no ones surprise, he hasn't done much this year. The only positive trending statistic in his 3 year career is his decrease in turnovers that usually accompany a lack of minutes and touches. Having been gifted the starting role of point guard against the Raptors way back in January, Chalmerisis has actually been a decent source of 3's (1.2/per) and steals (1.2/per) ever since joining the starting five. He hasn't hurt your FG% either shooting damn near 50% as a starter. Sustainable? Probably not. Worthy of a pick up? One more game and the bear will too tempted by the stench of youth and picnic baskets to resist.Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-13939544435486522762011-02-25T13:26:00.004-06:002011-02-25T13:49:54.273-06:00Nice Work Kenyon Martin!<a href="http://www.allhiphop.com/photos/flicks/images/19082535/425x330.aspx"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 425px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 330px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://www.allhiphop.com/photos/flicks/images/19082535/425x330.aspx" /></a> Chavez <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/players/3400/news;_ylt=AqozyUVzp_GDINavSegAI6ptPKB4">here</a> looks to be playing the role of beneficiary now that Melo & <a href="http://ballerwives.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/chauncey-billups-wife-piper-riley-billups2.jpg">Dr. Cock & Balls</a> scooted town. After spending the entire first half (and more) on the bench nursing an injury, pondering whether or not he should consider the fact that Sheldon Williams momentarily assumed his role a <a href="http://natnotes.com/wp-content/uploads/misc/kick_to_balls.jpg">kick in the junk</a>, Kenyon is <a href="http://www.midwestsportsfans.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/roy-williams.jpg">back</a>! Still only owned in 9% of Yahoo! leagues, now would be the time to sink your bear paws deep. The (former?? who knows..?) <a href="http://thehockeywriters.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/The-Joker.jpg">Fantasy Beasts</a> from NY (Felton, Chandler and Gallinari) are gonna need a game or two to settle into Denver, Nene finds himself in lots of foul trouble lately, and we all know Al Harrington is a bum, so Kenyon should be seeing lots of time and should be a center piece in George Karl's offense, at least temporarily.Crashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374428190863447483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-54655316167630067862011-02-21T23:07:00.004-06:002011-02-23T11:58:53.623-06:00Bear to Carmelo Anthony: You've been traded: Links<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVSgLcLDKzssRpC7w7jkgQTjvjtHyqHohy8gVy-4aZ-cJtCoUvriO-a6LDvERYAci0KO6Cv-cQMVL7_oWZDkrwWu-Gm3JqMfSUJg6NLcLZ_bC6X8e6bfH33JTtnEPwdIDwReBFoC02CWjb/s1600/Carmelonews.jpeg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 339px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVSgLcLDKzssRpC7w7jkgQTjvjtHyqHohy8gVy-4aZ-cJtCoUvriO-a6LDvERYAci0KO6Cv-cQMVL7_oWZDkrwWu-Gm3JqMfSUJg6NLcLZ_bC6X8e6bfH33JTtnEPwdIDwReBFoC02CWjb/s400/Carmelonews.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5576945874479459042" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Anthony finally coming out of his room, reprises threats about running away</span><br /><br />The shit has finally hit the fan and oppose to running some busted ass piece I wrote describing how Timofey Mozgov and Sheldon Williams were the real winners in the melo-drama, I'm just gonna trout out some links of people who have already done it for me! Yay! So go on read about this trade and what Matt Buser has to say about sharing <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/fantasy/blog/roto_arcade/post/Fantasy-Fallout-Carmelo-Anthony-to-the-Knicks?urn=fantasy-324552">here</a>! Don't forget to slide Give me the rock a look <a href="http://givemetherock.com/2011/02/22/mo-melo/">here</a>! Fantasy Basketball Breakdown break's it down <a href="http://fantasybasketballbreakdown.blogspot.com/2011/02/knicks-acquire-carmelo-anthony-in.html">here</a>! Damn Lies and stats rates the trade in Carmelo Anthony's <a href="http://damnliesandstats.com/2011/02/22/ill-be-damned-carmelo-anthony-is-a-knick/">here</a>! fBasketball blog goes heartless with their color coding <a href="http://www.fbasketballblog.com/2011/02/22/fantasy-trade-analysis-carmelo-anthony-to-the-knicks/">here</a>! The Bear shows you how to draw one <a href="http://www.lucylearns.com/images/how-to-draw-polar-bear-1.gif">here</a>!Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643457215079187335.post-18726176277381054092011-02-18T11:07:00.007-06:002011-02-18T14:28:31.877-06:00Chris Kaman's Epic Return<iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Cv1cBN8M-9I" frameborder="0" height="390" width="480"></iframe><br /><br />This video isn't recent as you may or may not have been able to tell. What is recent is Chris Kaman playing 9 and a half spot minutes for the Clippers against the Timberwolves Wednesday night. News has been sketchy at best about when <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc1uIwfRE1U">Kaman</a> would return and what his role was going to be now that Deandre Jordon has "cemented" himself into the starting five next to the "<a href="http://bleacherreport.com/articles/603395-blake-griffin-top-10-nicknames-for-the-newest-nba-superstar">Biracial Facial</a>". Deandre's starting numbers look like 7/8 with 1.8 blocks while shooting an absurd 67% from the floor because all he does is dunk. Some numbers that could definitely help you in most leagues, but also numbers that could go down if Jordan get's his minutes cut into by a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0PgZeumSJI">gun-happy</a> <a href="http://espn.go.com/nba/player/stats/_/id/1982/chris-kaman">proven</a> like Kaman. Kaman has been a fantasy draft staple for 6 odd seasons now, too rough around the edges for a top 50 slection but always a nice 2nd/3rd tier center you could get cheaper than his counter parts. So what now? What the fuck happens now? Deandre is no offensive dynamo and Vinny Del Negro knows it. Kaman is a rock around the hoop and with Eric Gordon still out, the Clippers desperately need someone to take pressure off Blake Griffin. Randy Foye has been a decent option but is basically the new Ricky Davis. Baron Davis has never shot better than 43% for a whole season. Rasual Butler, Al-Farouq Aminu and Ryan Gomes just stand around like a bunch of sucked off dicks. They need him. It might take a while, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-CS99OSxWM">Blake</a> will still be the #1 option in Clipperland, but Kaman will get his conditioning back up and eventually usurp Deandre Jordon as the other half of the other half of the <a href="http://cache4.asset-cache.net/xc/95861354.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=77BFBA49EF878921A343B2C87A49D8F5950D2D410685CD122CB2E6899300AEA8CFC5007CB3C4BF87E30A760B0D811297">LA bigs.</a> Book it.Fanarchyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593310489228981306noreply@blogger.com1