Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Round 1, Pick 4

4. Danny Granger

Glad to take the park ranger...

While many owners have been put off by d-range's consistently inconsistent health over the past two seasons (62 and 67 games played in 09-10 and 08-09, respectively), I have taken a much more positive outlook for the 27 year old Matrix Reloaded.

Everyone knows Danny's a beast. A physically gifted baller who can run the floor, finish strong, drain 6+ FTs at 90%+, D-up fierce, and spread the floor by shooting with less conscience than the Schutzstaffel. Here's a few things about DG you might not know...

  • Over the past 3 seasons Granger had more combined 3s + stls + blks than the likes of Dwayne Wade, LeBron James, Dirk, KD, CP, D12... (in 07-08 Josh Smith had 4.6 combined to Grangers 4.5, in the following two seasons, not even close)

  • In each of the past 3 seasons, his season high rebounding games came with Troy Murphy out of the lineup (Surprised?? Well, yea, I guess thats not a shocker, but a 1-2 rpg boost doesnt hurt anyones value).

  • The best point guard DGs played alongside...Jamaal Tinsley

  • Next best...Earl Watson

  • ...Seriously

  • Darren Collison was born in Rancho Cucamonga, Ca. (just had to throw that in somewhere)

  • He's smart as fuck. Was awarded a partial scholarship to Yale, played at Bradley before transfering to New Mexico where he finished his civil engineering degree. Go LOBOS!!

Feel a little more informed?? It's ok if you answered no, I'm not here to fucking impress you.

I'm ready for something special outta Danny-boy. Hes the clearcut #1 option on a shit team with a nucleus of nothing more than a great swingman and a young and talented PG and C. As long as he's on the court, he'll be a top 5 fantasy player with the potential to be the best fantasy option in the NBA.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Rd 1, Pick 3

3. Chris Paul

Now that KD24 and Lebron James are off the board, team 3 happily accepts CP3 and starts praying for 70+ games of double-doubley goodness. No one has or ever will argue against Pauls fantasy tool belt, but they will tell you that he's developed a bit of a glass asshole over his five seasons in the A. Not to call those people fucking morons, but Chris has played 78+ games for 3 of his five years. Not a big deal to me. Every body hurts sometimes. Some more than others. And that's just the way she goes boys, that's the way she fucking goes....

Shit! the first 3 were easy! Let's get Mock on this bitch!

Round 1 , Pick 2

2. Lebron James
It's gotta be Bron Bron. To me this is a no-brainer, CP3 made a monkey out of me last year and I just dont like giving 2nd chances. As mentioned in the early Miami predictions theres talk of production drop, but Charles Lebron-son is projected to be the least affected by this. Plus i've never balled with Lebron before so given the opportunity I would'nt think twice.

Let's see a triple double average this year there bud.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Fantasy Basketbear Mock Draft: Rd 1, Pick 1

Welcome home once again. This is the Bear. This is now. The bear is now.....? Seriously though, thanks to Ben for kicking things off with his Miami predictions. Somebody had to start somewhere and bolder moves have never been made. Anywoot, We here at the bear have decided to kick-start the fantasy NBA season with a little mock draft. Nothing too heavy, just a twelve teamer, roto we'll say, with 9 cats and zero respawns. Your 4 favorite bear cubs (Myself, Crash, Swisher and Shuttlesworth) will be collectively drafting all 12 teams, so be prepared for a lot of bias, favoritism and secret handshakes. Without further do, here is the first pick, which calls for little explanation:

1.Kevin Durant

Not much to say here that hasn't been said already. Until CP3 strings together healthy seasons and the situation in Miami shakes out, KD24 has been dubbed the consensus number 1 by more than just myself. This blog, this blog and this random all seem to mock agree. Next up: RD 1, pick 2! Holy Blasting Smokes!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Early Miami Predictions

The laze of the bear has become apparant throughout the summer months and for that I accept the whole hearted apologies of you the readers. But now that you've all momentarily got your shit together, its time to take a look at what might happen with the new Big Three.

Unadulterated marijuana sex parties. First prediction, is that these babies hit the roof. Heres hoping the Bear will be asked to do a special report at said sex partys.

Already as it stands Lebron James is no longer even in the top 20 thick salaries for the upcoming season, CB4 and D-Wade arent reaching that platform this year either. Pay cuts are one thing for these all star stat sheet mammoths, but will the production drop? Immensely? Slightly? Not at all?

Perhaps the fact that this newer, younger, hipper, more celebrity status starved Big Three is even considering a pay cut means winning is more important than the all-greasy dollar. At least this year.

Dwyane is gonna focus primarily on shooting guard while Mario Chalmers handles point duties. Bosh has recently found himself surrounded by thick muscle in a frankly robust power rotation. Chances are CB4 is going to be the boards guy of the 3 superstars, D-Wade's boarding will surely drop (he averages just a shade under 5 a game in his career, which isnt huge but PG's who attack the boards are few and far between) with Bosh and to a (much) lesser extent Juwan Howard monopolizing the paint on D.

Dwyane could break the ceiling for you this year in the assist catagory. His acrobatical passing will be backed up, and showcased better by a cast of characters worlds apart from the unreliable Jermaine O'Neal.

Lebron by all rights should continue his usual reign of terror. His ultimate goal, aside from a thick dynasty of championships, is to have a golden statue of himself errected outside the American Airlines Arena.

Bosh and Wade might not reach the plateau of 25pts per game avg. (although nothing seems to be able to stop Lebron from these numbers), but this whole deal seems like a pure power move concieved to put some rings on these players fingers. Bron Bron and Bosh havent won a championship yet, and winning that gold alongside new teammate Wade in the 2008 Olympics put the taste of winning on they're tongues. Not everyone is happy about the situation, but only time will tell if these three monoliths can share the spotlight and achieve the ultimate dynasty of cereal box covers, blankets, fanny packs, and blacklight posters bearing they're faces, that they've always dreamt of.