Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Zach Randolph`s Reign of Terror ends!

Global Fantasy Economy Crashes!

Originally thought of as a poor mans Amare Stoudemire`Milan (aka the 30+ per game whisperer), Zach has been a beast this year, clocking in as Western Conference Player of the Week twice this January. Posting beastly averages of 20-13 on the year, Bear Cubs and Fantasy Enthusiasts alike began wondering what was stopping Zach from making house calls to troubled Fantasy Roster owners and smartening up they're loud, aggressive, overly territorial stat sheets. The answer? Weed smoke I'd imagine. Just last night the Grizzlies collectively agreed to assist Zach in attaining his 15th straight double double of the year, but then, without a doubt, Randolph got high, posting a 10-9, ending his succulent string of high efficiency. Peaks and valleys in the Fantasy economy are common, but this one hurt. Now is not the time to loose you're cool Zach, not now, not when we're so close.

Elsewhere (in the same game/time/place), Mike Conley unlocked the Da Vinci code. Only it turns out, the Da Vinci Code is an algorithm for spectacular Fantasy results. 26pts, 11ast, 4 trey balls and 2 steals. That makes for 23 assists in the last 2 games. Conley is no Russell 'the love muscle' Westbrook (thanks for the update Big Ben), but he is however making those who drafted him look smart. Mikey may not be in the top 50, or even crack it this year, but his contributions to the team that don't show up on paper (and don't translate well into Fantasy) are solid enough to keep his ass in the starting spot, which means lots of play time, which means consistent catagory stuffing.

Amare has 1 goal this year, simply to win you a fantasy championship. While Zach has a slightly different yet relative goal, to be Amare. Both are advocators in the War on Fat chicks, and both can't satisfy they're many wives without punishing double-doubles clear and apparant on the scoreboard. And both, have denied David West post-game beers at the titty club on many occasions.

Somebody get these strippers out of the way!

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