Early Miami Predictions

The laze of the bear has become apparant throughout the summer months and for that I accept the whole hearted apologies of you the readers. But now that you've all momentarily got your shit together, its time to take a look at what might happen with the new Big Three.

Unadulterated marijuana sex parties. First prediction, is that these babies hit the roof. Heres hoping the Bear will be asked to do a special report at said sex partys.


Already as it stands Lebron James is no longer even in the top 20 thick salaries for the upcoming season, CB4 and D-Wade arent reaching that platform this year either. Pay cuts are one thing for these all star stat sheet mammoths, but will the production drop? Immensely? Slightly? Not at all?

Perhaps the fact that this newer, younger, hipper, more celebrity status starved Big Three is even considering a pay cut means winning is more important than the all-greasy dollar. At least this year.

Dwyane is gonna focus primarily on shooting guard while Mario Chalmers handles point duties. Bosh has recently found himself surrounded by thick muscle in a frankly robust power rotation. Chances are CB4 is going to be the boards guy of the 3 superstars, D-Wade's boarding will surely drop (he averages just a shade under 5 a game in his career, which isnt huge but PG's who attack the boards are few and far between) with Bosh and to a (much) lesser extent Juwan Howard monopolizing the paint on D.

Dwyane could break the ceiling for you this year in the assist catagory. His acrobatical passing will be backed up, and showcased better by a cast of characters worlds apart from the unreliable Jermaine O'Neal.

Lebron by all rights should continue his usual reign of terror. His ultimate goal, aside from a thick dynasty of championships, is to have a golden statue of himself errected outside the American Airlines Arena.

Bosh and Wade might not reach the plateau of 25pts per game avg. (although nothing seems to be able to stop Lebron from these numbers), but this whole deal seems like a pure power move concieved to put some rings on these players fingers. Bron Bron and Bosh havent won a championship yet, and winning that gold alongside new teammate Wade in the 2008 Olympics put the taste of winning on they're tongues. Not everyone is happy about the situation, but only time will tell if these three monoliths can share the spotlight and achieve the ultimate dynasty of cereal box covers, blankets, fanny packs, and blacklight posters bearing they're faces, that they've always dreamt of.