Orlando, Washington play yankee swap: Fantasy Implications

Apparently Gilbert Arenas is taking a his locker full of guns and heading to play with Dwight Howard and Chris Duhon in Orlando. They Yankee-swapped with the Wizards for Rashard Lewis and one of those foam hands that let's people know who you think is #1. The Suns and Magi (like cacti) also completed a deal that sends the Suns Jason Richardson, Hedo Turkoglu and Earl Clark to Orlando for Vince Carter, Marcin Gortat, Mikael Pietrus and a first round pick in 2061. As far as fantasy goes, there should be some good upswings in value and some horrible declines:

Winners:

Marcin Gortat: Go pick up the polish hammer right now! Right fucking now! I already checked and he's gone in all but one of my 7 leagues. Gortat should step into the 5 position on the Suns floor and immediately start seeing hefty amounts of rebounds, blocks and scoring. He'll cripple Robin Lopez if he has too. His numbers in 5 career starts are 9.2/11.2 with 2.4 blocks. Go get em'.

Gilbert Arenas: Ever since the Wiz got the first pick in the draft everyone knew Gilbert was done in Washington. Move along son, it's Johns town now. Having a monster like Dwighty on the inside is a dream come true for a player who's averaged 6 three point attempts per game over his career. He should split some time with Jameer Nelson at the point and Jason Richardson at the off guard, but still see lots of shots.

Hedo Turkoglu: Perhaps another chance at regaining his former roto glory-hole days, Hedo will likely see plenty of minutes initiating the offense from the small forward and power forward slots. Getting back to his 15/5/5 ways isn't out of the question (ed: it probably is) as he finally remembers how good he had it playing with the DPOY.


Orlando Magic: Getting rid of shitty Vince Carter and awful Rashard Lewis is a big step for anyone in my opinion and we'll keep saying it until we get contacted by Vince Carter's lawyer.

Losers:

Rashard Lewis: This is the beginning of the end for ol' Shard. He's not great at creating his own shot, playing defense or even shooting the ball efficiently anymore. This was basically a cost cutting move for the Wiz as Lewis is only guaranteed 10 million in his final season. If Rashard puts up anymore than his 12 points and 1.8 three's I'll shit and eat my pants.

Earl Clark: Big time loser

Draw:

Vince Carter: Will be on the receiving end of a lot of Steve Nash goodness. With Richardson gone, Carter will Step right into the starting 2 role and will be given a long leash to shoot in the PHX offense. It's a Draw/Win.

Jason Richardson: Will keep bombing it from downtown and lead the league in 3's all year, no slow down in sight.

Mikael Pietrus: Should play some 2hooting guard for the suns and start to see some value in 3 PTM and scoring.


Next up we challenge NBA players to fights over Twitter. Does JJ Reddick have the balls to respond to Crash's chants of: "I slept with your mom"? Find out next week.